The Enemy is Among Us
by PsychoBlonde
Summary: When the IOA decides that Atlantis needs to go through an evaluation, things start to happen, new love, old memories and people, all not necessarily good but neither is it all bad. How will they protect themselves when the enemy is among them? Pairings: Evan/Rodney and John/Cameron. SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

So after a short break in writing for the SGA fandom I'm back :D This is my longest and best written fanfic I've ever written and I'm really proud of it. Of course becasue it's me, there's SLASH in it, and so if you don't like slash, then don't read, bevare you've now been warned ;) Main Pairings are Evan/Rodney and John/Cameron. There won't be too much sex and such but there's some so if you don't like stuff like that you can skip it, and of course there's fluff!

In this story I've made Evan younger than what he actually is, he's supposedly the same age as John and Cam but I've always thought of him as younger and so he's 36 in this story... I Think that was all for now :)

**READ **and** ENJOY!  
**

/PsychoBlonde

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PROLOGUE

_Atlantis Command,_

_We at the IOA have decided that it is time for an evaluation of Atlantis. We feel that things are slowly moving in a direction on Atlantis that raises some concerns here on earth. Because of this, we will send over a person who will evaluate and make sure that every single person serving on Atlantis is fit to be there.  
We expect full cooperation and willingness from your part in making sure this evaluation will go smoothly. Any moves on your part in trying to stop this, will be counted as insubordination.  
This assessment will take place on May 4__th__ and onwards for as long as necessary._

_Signed,_

_Members of the IOA_

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

"_Colonel Sheppard, Major Lorne, Doctor McKay, Doctor Keller please make your way to Commander Mitchell's office."  
_John frowned. It was not often that Cam, no Commander Mitchell wanted to meet them in his office usually they used the meeting room when they had something to discuss. Then again, he had no idea what Cam would want to discuss.

There had been a few very hectic weeks going on, and feelings were stretched to insane lengths, but right now it was mostly calm except for the usual small happenings. Halfway to Cam's office, John met up with Doctor Keller, she too had no idea what was going on.

"You don't think something has happened to the Daedalus? I mean they'll be here in about two days won't they?"

"Nah, I don't think it's about the Daedalus, Doctor, but let's hope it is because I really don't have any spare time for anything more stressing than that," said John.  
"You and me both Colonel, the last attack on Atlantis has left us with half of our army in the infirmary," said Doctor Keller with a small sigh.

They stood for a short while outside of Cam's office neither of them moving to take the first step in, both worried about what this sudden meeting was about.

"Well then Doctor Keller, let's not keep them waiting."  
John noted that he and Doctor Keller were the last ones to arrive; Rodney was sitting down in one of the chairs in front of Cam's desk, impatiently crossing and re-crossing his arms in front of his chest. Major Lorne was standing ramrod straight eyes fixated on a spot on the wall but John could see tired restlessness and the contained energy that was radiating from the Major.

Then again, this past year had been a tuff one for Lorne, not only had he heaps of paperwork to do, but he had been taken hostage at the start of the year barely two weeks after he had gotten back had been forced to step into not only John's job but also Cam's as they had gotten thrown into some odd wormhole and been gone for a whole month, Lorne had not only done their jobs but his own. No, John did not envy Lorne; the poor man really could do with a break or two.

"Good you're all here," started Cam, shuffling through some papers on his desk before he found what he was looking for, "this arrived this morning, it's from the IOA."

John skimmed through the paper, with a trained eye and what he found was not something that made him happy. It could not have come at a less good time; he could not help but wish it had been the Daedalus that had had some problem or two. That at least would have been manageable; this paper was doing nothing more but promising more sleepless nights and hectic days filled with work.

He was pulled from his musings by Rodney who snatched the paper from John, he on the other had was not as quiet about what he thought about the matter.

"This is stupid! These evaluations are rubbish, this does nothing else but gives them a reason to snoop and point fingers!" raged Rodney in his usual loud way.

"Well getting angry won't help us," said Lorne his temper such a drastic change from Rodney's that it still surprised John that they had not killed each other, or more likely Lorne killed Rodney.

Then again, in some odd way, Rodney seemed to have a soft spot for the Major. It was not often that Rodney felt obliged to play nice, but more often than not John found himself surprisingly watching Rodney play nicely with Evan.

Lorne's more than calm temper was something that threw most people off the loop, explosions, kidnappings you could throw anything at the man and he would not even blink but be the model example of professionalism. Not that John minded, it had more than once saved them all, Evan's calm nature.

"So what should we do? I mean, one look at how we run things right now and we can all kiss goodbye our futures, and instead welcome a dark damp sell at Area 51," sighed Doctor Keller.

"That's why I called you, everyone needs to be informed of what will be going on," said Cam rubbing his hands over his eyes, "it's not just our careers on the line, it's every single persons career that is living here on Atlantis."

"God I can't stand the IOA," muttered Rodney.

"At least we've got a few weeks to prepare us for this," said John.

"Yeah, two weeks and three days," read Doctor Keller form the paper.

"May 4th," repeated Evan as if he was thinking it over, "there is no actual time frame for this, let's hope this inspector won't feel inclined to stay for longer than a week or two."

"This is just great, as if we don't have enough problems already!"

"Couldn't agree with you more Doctor McKay," drawled Cam.

"What I want to know is why now? I mean Woolsey had been here for almost a year or so when his first personal evaluation took place, but this one, this one is different," wondered Doctor Keller.

"There's an almost completely new IOA committee, at least that was what Woolsey told me in his latest letter, it seems as if they're a bit worried that we can't follow the proper rules and regulations."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Doctor Keller.

"What I mean is that the new committee doesn't like us because they can't control us and so they will try to get us out of the way so that they can place people that they can control in our positions," explained John before Cam had the time to open his mouth, who the question was meant for.

"So what should we do?"

"There's not much we can do about it, except for accepting it and trying to avoid the storm," said Cam.

"Great!" muttered Rodney, "do we know who this inspector will be?"

"No, there was nothing about who it was in the letter, but I got an email from Jack –General O'Neill– telling me we could be in for a nasty surprise."

"This is just getting better and better," said John morosely, turning to face his Second in Command, "Major Lorne, maybe you could take care of announcing this to the general public and make sure everyone knows what at stake here. We can't take any chances."

"Of course sir, I'll schedule it for the end of this week or sometimes next week." John gave a small nod in answer.

He really had no idea what he would do if he did not have Evan as his SIC. Or, okay he did know what he would be doing, he would be drowning in paperwork and not getting anything done because he did not have Evan there to remind him of all those extra meetings and well everything.

John quite dreaded the day that he would not have the younger man there, if that day even would come. Sometimes John was sure that the major enjoyed living on Atlantis more than John himself did. And that in itself was amazing, as he most of the time would never go back to Earth and the Milky Way Galaxy if he had anything to say about it.

"Well then if that was all then I need to get back to screaming at my minions that just don't seem to understand the simple order of don't touch," sniped Rodney halfway through the door by the time he had finished the sentence.

It was not long after that, before John and Cam were alone in Cam's office. Doctor Keller excused herself after Rodney and Evan did not stay much long after that, as he had a lot of paperwork to do. John did not even wait for the door to shut, before he sank down in one of the chairs in front of Cam's desk.

"I can't believe they're doing something like this…"

"You're not the only one John," soothed Cam.

"Haven't we gone through enough this year? Woolsey ok, he's a nice guy but the rest of those bloodsucking creeps in the IOA, no thank you. And with our luck it'll be someone whose hell bent on getting us kicked out. I mean we've probably broken every single rule there is in the US army here on Atlantis."

"Don't worry; we'll get through this somehow…"

"It's not me I'm worried about!"

"I know, John," stated Cam calmly.

John pouted; he hated it how Cam could channel Evan at the most annoying times.

"I've got work to do…" mumbled John.

"I'll see you later then," said Cam with a small wave of his hand.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

It was not often that public announcements were made on Atlantis, especially not announcements when one was faced with a stony faced or more accurately in this situation, the passive face of Major Evan Lorne. The man was infamous for his calmness and almost always permanent smile on his lips.

Evan was not too happy about how things were moving forward but there was not much he could do about it. Letting his gaze move over the soldiers and scientists attending this small announcement, Evan took a step forward. He was not enjoying this and he knew that both the Colonel and the Commander liked the situation even less, everyone were in the line of fire this time.

"I won't waste any ones time with pleasantries and I'm sure most of you would like to know what's going on. The IOA have sent a message where they're informing us that they'll send a representative who will have full control and power over his own actions, this representative will investigate in how Atlantis is run, whether the people here are fit to serve here and is it worth keeping up this project."

Total silence followed Evan's small speech. There was not a single person's face that did not betray what they were feeling, shock disbelief and many other feelings were staring back at Evan.

"As of yet we have no idea who this representative is and so we hope that people will be careful and understand what being discreet is of outmost importance. Best would it be if everyone stayed in and used their own sleeping quarters for the time we are being evaluated, I cannot stress enough the importance of being discreet, this time no one is safe, we cannot be sure that there won't be any bumps in the road. Thank you."

Evan did not wait for any kind of response; instead he made a complete turn and headed for his office. He needed to think, he had loads of work to do this assessment could not come at a worse time. Then again, he probably was one of the luckier ones, he was not at the moment in a homosexual relationship and at least did not need to sneak around with that but Evan knew that his close friendship with John was something that did not sit well with many people in the IOA.

It annoyed how simple minded people could be when it came to stuff that they did not know about or liked. Not many knew, because of the IOAs interference but most people with the ancient gene were gay. Because of some differences in their genes, it was nothing unusual for the ancients to be in homosexual relationships as two males or two females could have children. This showed in the ATA gene carriers in the way that most of them were either bi or gay, which meant that the majority of the people serving or working on Atlantis was not as straight as the army would want them to and so it had to be kept hidden.

Since Carson had done some experiments and noticed this small thing, they had slowly started to recruit people that were leaning more towards bisexuality or homosexuality. This was something most knew about that worked on Atlantis but it was nothing that was spoken about aloud. It was the same way with the sleeping arrangements, at first it had only been one or two people moving around in the middle of the night trying to get from one room to another, but now almost everyone in a steady relationship with someone else on the base were sharing a room. Not only was it nice for the couples but it also meant there were more empty rooms for when some panic evacuation was done.

Evan hoped with all his heart that this evaluation would pass fast and that no problems would arise but then again, that always seemed to be too much to ask for in the Pegasus Galaxy. Right now, he could not do anything else but prepare for every possible outcome.

With an angry huff Evan sank down in his office chair, he felt drained and tired but he was damned if he would let it stop him from doing his duty. And right now that duty was to make sure nothing happened to the people that lived and served on Atlantis, including Sheppard and Mitchell, even if they would never admit to it.

It was not easy being Sheppard's second in command, with all the kidnappings, shootings, enemies out to kill them, wraiths, if nothing else then Evan could happily admit, that he certainly did not have a boring life. If nothing else, he had done and seen some amazing stuff in his short life. Of course, he had also already fitted in some more gruesome stuff he would rather forget and never be reminded of.

"Jesus Ev, don't think about that, it has never done and never will do you any good," muttered Evan to himself.

He had learned a long, long time ago that thinking of the past did nothing good; in fact it did rather a lot bad. And as Evan was one of those people that never sought out pain or discomfort, he was rather content in pushing away all bad memories from his younger days.

Shifting his attention, Evan felt like crying, the paper stack had gotten bigger since he had laid his eyes on it earlier that morning and he knew his eyes were not fooling him. Usually he did not have a problem with paperwork but right at that moment Evan wanted nothing more than to climb under a rock and sleep for a hundred years at least that was how he felt.

With a loud sigh, which was probably unnecessarily dramatic, Evan started his fight against the paperwork. As his mother used to say, 'there is no time like the present'.

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Routine questions coming up! Was it good or bad? Please Review and tell me what you thought :)


	2. Chapter 2

Soo I just wanted to say that I've actually written the whole story already and so there's no chance that the story won't be finished. I will publish a chapter with a few days in between, depending on how much time I have to fix it up and proof read, between school and hobbies and such but the whole thing will be out before this year has ended, probably before December comes around even :)

Please read and enjoy!

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I.

JOHN

He had never liked dressing up in his dress blues, for a funeral ok that was expected, when someone got a medal he would not complain, but dressing up in his best clothes just to receive a pompous slime ball of a man was not a good reason in John's book to take out his dress blues.

Standing in front of the mirror in Cam's sleeping quarters which they did not share anymore for the time being, John kept adjusting and re-adjusting his collar. He was not by a long shot feeling comfortable and by the many looks Cam kept throwing at him; John knew his lover had noticed.

They still had about three hours until this Norman Fields, the representative chosen by the IOA to come to Atlantis for this small excursion, would arrive. Then again, if one considered how hectic the week had been with people moving back to their old rooms, clothes, stuff and more stuff moving through the corridors, this was probably better, it had gotten much more complicated than John could ever have imagined.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"They're not worth that much…"

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"You seem nervous." It was not a question but a statement.

For the first time since he had put on his uniform, John turned to watch Cam. It was odd how secure and safe he felt when he watched Cam. Nowadays he just needed to think of Cam for that warm and fluffy feeling to appear in his chest.

"God I feel stupid!" not even a second after he had blurted out the words, John wanted to take them back. It was not as if Cam should need to listen to his worries, especially as they did not come from anything else but a gut feeling he had had since they had found out about this small farce constructed by the IOA.

"Stupid? About what?"

"It's nothing…" mumbled John turning back to face the mirror.

"John… we've spoken about this, you know you can tell me anything."

"I know… It's just that, I've got this really odd gut feeling that something bad will happen," admitted John.

He could hear Cam moving around behind him and then a pair of strong arms circled his waist. Pulling him closer, until his back was pressed flush against Cam's chest.

"It'll be okay, John," murmured Cam into John's neck, "we'll just have to be a bit more careful than normally, let's just hope this Norman Fields isn't a total bastard."

"With my luck I don't think that'll happen."

"Don't give up before it has even begun," chided Cam.

John did not say anything to that. He knew he was probably overreacting but trust was not something that came easily to him and this whole thing smelled worse than a rotten corpse a long way. And it was not as if he had a very good relationship with the IOA.

"Either way," said John breaking away from Cam, "I need to talk to Ronon and Teyla, hopefully they won't have to suffer because people on earth are idiots."

"Yeah, yeah, you go meet up with them and we'll see each other in the gate room, I still have some files to go through about our new allies," said Cam.

Just as John was about to exit the room, he found himself pressed up against the wall by Cam. His body kept firmly in place by Cam's, their lips smashed together in a heated kiss. The kiss did not end before both of them were out of breath and their breathing labored.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"The kiss."

Instead of answering John's question, Cam stole another kiss, this one a bit more gentle but much more intense. Not sure of what he was supposed to do, John still a bit dazed by the kissing, leaned heavily against the wall, watching as Cam left the room. It did not strike him before he was halfway down the corridor on his way to meet up with Ronon and Teyla that, that kiss was probably the last kiss he would share with Cam before this Norman had left Atlantis, and God knows how long that would be. It was a depressing thought, and one John would rather not think about.

It was not a hard task, finding Teyla and Ronon. Not ten minutes after he left Cam's quarters, John found himself sitting in the mess hall at a small table with both of them. He had run into them just as they were on the way out from one of the training rooms.

"You seem tense John, are you okay?" wondered Teyla giving him a concerned glance.

John shrugged off the question, not really all that into talking about his thoughts or feelings about everything that was going on. He knew Teyla only meant well but talking about it would not exactly make matters better. If he was to go by the look she was giving him, John was sure that Teyla too understood that he was not feeling up to talk about it.

"So when will this Fields guy get here?" asked Ronon.

"We've still got an hour and forty-seven minutes of freedom," said John checking his watch.

For a moment John drifted into himself, not listening to whatever Ronon and Teyla were discussing, or more accurately Teyla was discussing and Ronon was just grunting or nodding his opinion. The mess hall was slowly filling up with people dressed in either military uniforms, or scientists in their better clothing wearing their white jackets indicating their position on Atlantis. While watching John could happily note that most people looked about as uncomfortable as he felt in his dress blues.

He did not snap back into reality before he felt Teyla put a light hand on his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"I need to get Torren to his father but I am sure everything will run smoothly until I get back," said Teyla.

"Of course, you just enjoy your time with Kanaan and Torren," reassured John her.

Teyla was going to spend two weeks with the Athosians, there was not much free time and so she usually took every opportunity that was offered. Torren's birthday was coming up and John wanted Teyla to be able to spend that with both her son and partner. It was not as if she would be needed on Atlantis, while the inspection was going on, as the gate travelling would be minimized as much as possible.

John and Ronon watched as Teyla walked out from the mess hall. In a way, even though he was happy that Teyla would at least be spared from two weeks of this madness, John knew he would miss her. Especially her calmness and rational way of looking at things, her diplomatic skills would be missed. Because, if there was one thing that he was sure of, then that was that by the time this Norman went home, back to earth, there will have been many encounters that have not ended well.

"So Chewie, what'll you do?"

A grunt was the only answer he got, before Ronon also stood up and left. John guessed that his Satedan friend was on his way to the infirmary. Since Ronon had started to date Doctor Keller, John had noted with just a bit of humor that Ronon, who before when hurt almost had to be dragged unconscious to the infirmary, now almost never left the infirmary in favor of being with his girlfriend.

"Your welcome, it's nice how you give such long and informative answers," called John out after Ronon, sarcasm lacing his voice.

"Did both Ronon and Teyla give up on you?" It was pure reflexes that John reached for his gun by his side.

"Jesus Lorne, give a man some warning, I didn't hear you come."

"Sorry about that sir." John brushed off the apology with a wave of his hand.

"So Major Lorne, are you ready for this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," said Evan with determined look on his face.

John really hoped that what Evan was saying was the truth, because he was not as sure that he was ready. They would need to show a strong and calm outer appearance for everyone else on Atlantis, it would do little good to freak out.

"Good, have you seen Rodney?"

"McKay? Actually, I spoke with him just before I came here, if he suddenly haven't gotten a stroke or something, then I'm sure he's still in his lab, blowing off some steam before he has to play nice with the other children," said Evan.

"A stroke?"

"Well, he looked a bit stressed and not too pleased over the changes going on right now. Then again, my guess is that he's mad over having to lay down some of his extra projects for the time being and that he won't get back to P87-225 to check out those labs we found there."

"Knowing Rodney, it's likely the latter that annoys him more," said John with a small snort.

It would not surprise him at all, if Rodney was still grumbling over the fact that he would have to put aside his most interesting extra project and probably the most useful so far. If what Rodney had found out so far was true, then there was a very big chance that they would be able to figure out how to build their own ZPMs.

"Let's just hope he'll be able to take it up again," said John.

"Yeah, it would be great if we could be able to manufacture our own ZPM," Evan said with a small nod, "if we want to give this fight with the wraith our all, then we really need more ZPM."

"I couldn't agree with you more, Major."

A quiet moment passed as both men thought about all their losses. It was not easy being the one in command, but John was happy he had Evan as his SIC, he was not sure he would have survived this long without the other man's help. If nothing else, then the sheer amount of paperwork would have killed him.

It would have been funny if it just was not, to think that if he had not been swayed by Elizabeth's pretty words about adventure and other galaxies, then he would probably still be flying big shots in Antarctica. He would not have had any idea about the Stargate or Atlantis, and he would probably not have met Cam again.

It was a heavy burden being the military commander of Atlantis, but on the same time he would not want to have it any other way. Atlantis was his home, where he had found himself, the love of his life and many good friends.

"Sir? Sir, Colonel Sheppard?" John broke away from his thoughts when he felt an arm on his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"I think it's time for us to make our way to the gate room, sir," explained Evan not looking overly enthusiastic about it; "it's almost time for Mr. Fields to arrive"

Taking a look at his watch John almost sighed. He had not noticed that he had been sitting at the table for almost two hours.

"Well then Major Lorne, let's get this over and done with."

"Yes sir."

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

'_Don't kill him. Don't kill him. Don't kill him. Nothing good will come out of it, except for giving me a lot of pleasure in seeing him die painfully_.'

From the second Norman Fields, IOA representative stepped through the gate John knew he would not like the man. Everything about Fields screamed slime ball and creep. Everything from his overly polished shoes to his hair slicked back as if it made the man look handsome. And as if that was not enough, the first thing that came out from the man's mouth was a complaint. Had it not been for the years he had collected in practicing self-restraint then John was quite certain things would have gotten ugly fast.

Right now they were all, and by all John meant himself, Cam, Evan, Rodney, Keller and Fields, sitting by the conference table that Woolsey had brought with him when he was in command of Atlantis. They were waiting for Fields to start talking; right now he was just sitting there looking at them with that sleazy arrogant smile on his face. It was unsettling to say the least.

Trying not to show his discomfort, John fell back on old well used strategies to keep people from getting too close to him. It was not hard and slowly he could feel his emotions freeze, his face going completely blank his eyes turning cold. Most people found it creepy how he could just turn off his emotions, but it was something John was glad over knowing how to do, it kept the worst nightmares gone, and it made the killing easier, it made the regrets fade away. As his psychiatrist had said, it was not healthy but it was one of the few ways he knew how to cope. Meeting Cam had made things easier, made him stop trying to keep his emotions at bay, but sometimes like now it was just easier for him to put some distance between his emotions and himself.

Sitting up straighter in his chair, John waited for Fields to start speaking; something told him the man liked it rather a lot to hear his own voice. He had not taken his eyes off the man since they had sat down but when he did a fast sweep with his eyes over the others in the room, it seemed as if they had had much the same thoughts about the man that he had had. Everyone in the room were eying Fields with suspicious eyes.

"Well then shall we stop wasting time and get started then."

John grinded his teeth together, it was not their fault that Fields had wanted to see his accommodation and that he had not been pleased by them and had demanded a knew room and then he had stopped to make remarks on everything he had seen. And then when they finally had gotten to the conference room the goddamn man had only sat there looking at them as if they were not worth his time, it was infuriating. It reminded him how his father had looked at him at times and even then this really took the price.

"While I'm here, the IOA have granted me the rights to interfere if I see it fit," started Fields handing Cam a sheet of paper marked with the IOA stamp. "As of now, if I give you an order you'll do as I say."

No one spoke. The silence that stretched through the room was mindboggling; the sheer amount of negative feelings that were directed towards Fields would have filled up the whole Pacific Ocean. What was even odder, at least in John's opinion was that Fields seemed to be completely ignorant of it, which was seriously weird as even John had noticed the change. Or maybe the man noticed but decided to ignore it, after all if he was telling the truth and the paper he had produced was real then there was not much anyone on Atlantis could do about the temporary change of leadership.

It took all of John's willpower not to do or say anything that he would later come to regret. He could feel the metallic taste of the blood, when he bit down on his tongue a bit too hard. He had a hard time focusing on what was going on, and kept wishing for the meeting to finally end. Everything that was said just washed over him like a small wave of water, once in a while he would get his head back into the discussion but mostly he just sat quietly on the side letting the others do the talking.

"… And that's all for now. Dismissed!"

John had not caught what came before the dismissal but he did not care, right now he was so tired and so angry that he knew nothing good would happen if he opened his mouth. He had not taken such a disliking to anyone in a very long time, but there was just something about Fields that rubbed him the wrong way. It would not matter how long Fields stayed, it would be too long of a time for John to be comfortable with it.

He had almost exited the room when he was stopped by Fields nasal voice carrying across the room.

"Yes sir?" John almost spat out the words, keeping his face as blank as possible.

"That hair of yours, cut it, after all we don't want to set a bad example for the troops, now would we?"

For a split second John entertained the thought of mouthing off, but thought better of it. He did not need any more black marks in his book than he already had. So instead he settled for a curt nod before he left the conference room as fast as possible. He needed to put as much distance between himself and Fields, if for nothing else then for his own sanity's sake.

This quickness to judge and anger worried himself a bit. It was not often that he let his anger take control like that, especially not with a person he had known for such a short period of time as this. He could not say that anyone else but perhaps Kolya and Terry Kindle from his school years that had been able to piss him off to this extent.

Entering his room, John threw himself on his bed. It would be weird, sleeping alone once again. To think that only a few years back he had felt very uncomfortable if someone slept beside him, he had almost been unable to sleep because he did not trust the person sleeping beside him enough. It was such a drastic change to how things were now, now he could not phantom sleeping without Cam beside him keeping him warm. Or maybe not too much had changed, after all he only slept well when he had Cam beside him, or maybe someone from his team, everyone else were still dangerous and unfamiliar territory.

Burying his head in his pillow, John applauded him on his ingeniousness, while moving back to his old room he had switched his own pillow for Cam's so that even if they could not sleep beside each other, he would still have something with him that reminded him of his lover.

In the end, even though the bed was cold and just a tad too spacious for only him, John fell asleep not long after he had lain down on the bed.

RODNEY

"Useless… completely stupid, I hate the IOA as if they actually ever do anything, just wait, soon we'll probably only have citrus in this place…"

"You know talking to yourself is the first certain sign that you're crazy, Doctor McKay."

"AAHH!" Rodney shrieked and almost dropped the pad he was holding when he whirled around to face his 'attacker' "Major Lorne, give a man a warning or something! God if I'd had a stroke then who'd save you people from total destruction every week or so?"

Rodney after the first shockwave had worn off let himself appreciate the man standing in front of him. Lorne really was a good looking guy, nice, social and seriously popular not only in the Pegasus Galaxy but even on earth, Rodney had a long time ago come to the conclusion that he would never have a chance with the guy but that did not stop him from enjoying some eye candy when it was presented to him. After all, even if Lorne was gay, then the DADT would stop anything from happening.

"I don't think you have to worry about any strokes quite yet, Doc," chuckled Lorne, smiling in a way that made Rodney melt.

"So what're you doing here Major?"

Turning away, so that he was standing with his back towards Lorne, Rodney continued to work. Half of the reason or more likely ¼ of the reason was that he still had work to do, while the rest ¾ were because if he watched Lorne any longer, he would start to drool. He had seen the younger man in many different attires; combat clothes, civil clothes, almost no clothes at all (don't ask it was a mission!) but so far Rodney had to admit that Lorne looked by far the best in his dress blues. Of course, Rodney knew Lorne had been wearing his dress blues at Carson's funeral but at that time he had been a tad too sad to care about Lorne, also he had at the time been going through a small phase of denial and had tried to ignore the Major as much as possible.

Brushing all thoughts of sex and Lorne out of his mind, Rodney collected himself enough to be able to look at his visitor.

"So will you answer my question or not?"

"I'm on my way to the mess hall and then I thought it'd be better if I came down to make sure that you don't forget that it's only about two hours until Mr. Fields arrives and that you have everything ready and done."

Rodney watched Lorne with an annoyed twitch in his eye, but on the inside he was practically jumping of joy. He knew the Major was just doing his job, but that did not stop him from feeling a certain kind of smugness about the fact that Lorne willingly came down to the labs to associate with Rodney.

"Yeah yeah, I'm just about to finish this. Don't worry Major; I won't be late for the welcoming of this moronic IOA man."

"Okay, well I should probably be going, don't get too into your project Doc."

"Of course I won't, don't worry I'll be there," said Rodney absentmindedly.

He did not move nor did he take his eyes off his pad before he heard the door close behind Lorne. Letting out the breath he did not even notice he had been holding before he started to feel a bit lightheaded, Rodney slumped down in his chair. He was royally fucked; at least he had not gotten a hard-on this time.

After Rodney had had his small time-out angst session over his feelings for Major Lorne, he went back to his project, pushing everything else out of his head. It did not take long for him to get back into his project, for every small discovery he made, Rodney got more and more excited.

He did not notice how the time ticked away before he was once again taken by surprised this time it was not Lorne but Zelenka who almost gave him a stroke. And if Rodney would have anything to say about it, he would rather get the stroke from Lorne scaring him than Zelenka.

"What is it with people today?! Are you people hell bent on giving me a stroke?" snapped Rodney.

"It's almost time for Mr. Fields to arrive trough the Stargate, Major Lorne sent me here to make sure you're on time," said Zelenka, already putting away Rodney's stuff.

Grouching and muttering Rodney let Zelenka put away his stuff, he hated it when people did that because it always meant he never found it when he needed it afterwards but after working alongside Zelenka for about six years now, Rodney had gotten used to his coworkers odd traits, including his way of arranging things.

Walking beside Zelenka, Rodney noticed that the Chez was also dressed in his better clothes and wearing a white coat showing that he was a scientist and not part of the military, Rodney too, was wearing a white coat after many buts.

"Geez, what kind of guy demands to have a welcoming committee when he arrives?" muttered Rodney.

"An unpleasant one," was the only reply he got from Zelenka.

Even if Rodney would have remembered this small almost miniscule conversation, swap of words a few days later, for the first time in probably ever, he would not have had the need to add anything, because Zelenka had described Norman Fields spot on with one word.

Rodney was standing beside Evan, they were all standing in a very clear hierarchic way, with Commander Mitchell first then Sheppard beside Mitchell then Evan and then him, he did not even care to see in which particular order the others were arranged in behind the 'leaders' of Atlantis. Because there was no denying it, they as in Mitchell, Sheppard, himself, Evan and even Jennifer was the Atlantis committee that took care and decided things on Atlantis. Of course, Mitchell and Sheppard had most to say but then again Rodney would never in a million years want either man's job.

He was stopped in his musings when the Stargate activated. There was an instant reaction, it was as if most people in the room held their breaths or was just oddly nervous. Beside him, Rodney felt how Evan took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as if he was preparing himself for every possible route and outcome; it was unsettling to say the least.

And then, a man stepped out. Rodney did a fast assessment, the man was tall somewhere between Sheppard and Mitchell maybe, he was broad over the shoulders but Rodney could see that the man was not the biggest athlete. What really made Rodney take another look was the disgusting slicked back hair, as if it made the man look handsome. If nothing else, Rodney had a hard time deciding whether it would be easier to use the man's shoes or hair as a mirror, both were equally as polished and well ridiculously looking.

"Welcome to Atlantis Mr. Fields."

"Colonel Mitchell, I see you got the message," drawled Fields completely ignoring Mitchells outstretched hand.

"Got it in time, my ass! It came through yesterday evening…"

Rodney was rewarded with Evan's elbow in his side for his small comment but luckily it seemed as if no one else had heard him, which in a way was probably for the better.

"Well sir, if you give your bags to Lieutenant Bower and Sergeant Grant they'll make sure they get to your room safely then…," Fields cut off Mitchell halfway, completely ignoring the annoyed look he got.

"If it's all right with you Colonel, I'd rather see the quarters for myself before we start with the meeting," said Fields in a sickly sweet voice.

Even if the words were polite enough, there was no doubt about it; it was no question but a command. Rodney had the urge to say that he had better things to do than wait for an slimy IOA member to check out his quarters so that they could have this completely unimportant and unnecessary meeting, but it would probably not have been appreciated.

Evan dismissed everyone else but they who would be at the meeting and of course the Lieutenant and Sergeant who had drawn the short straw and had to carry the man's bags. Yes, the marines had actually drawn straws to see who would have to do it, as no one had volunteered for it. Rodney guessed that it was either Sheppard or Evan who had come up with it, because it was common knowledge that neither man liked stone, paper, scissors very much. Why they did not like the game was a mystery and Rodney suspected it would stay that way for a very long time.

The small party of people had barley gotten away from the gate room when Fields found his first flaw; they had no cameras how could they expect to keep track on what was going on now? And then completely ignored the explanations that there were surveillance they had after all the monitors that showed where everyone were and of course, the heat sensors. Rodney actually had to literally put a hand over his mouth not to snap and the man, apparently there was something wrong with everything on Atlantis, if it was not the people then it was the interior, blah blah, blah the man was a nuisance.

By the time they reached the quarters that had been picked for Fields, the air was thick with annoyance, in the few minutes the man had spent on Atlantis he had managed to upset a lot of people. Rodney was sure it was some kind of record.

"This is it?"

"Sir?" It was Mitchell.

"Aren't there any bigger rooms, this is barely the size of a closet!"

That was total bullshit, Fields had gotten a room in exactly the same size as everyone else on Atlantis had, or most had. As there were bigger rooms, but so that it would not be unfair on those who did not get a bigger room, had Weir and Sheppard in the beginning decided that no one would get the bigger rooms, and even after Weir and the first year they continued with this because it worked, no one had yet complained. It was not as if the rooms were small, for one or two people they were quite sufficient.

"Sir, everyone has rooms like these," Rodney had to applaud Mitchell in his head.

They may not get a long great, more often than not they disagreed but if nothing else the man believed in fairness and equality. And by the somewhat steely undertone in his voice he was not impressed by Mr. IOA.

"That wasn't what I was asking, I asked are there bigger rooms?"

"Yes sir, there is," shot Mitchell back in exactly the same way as before.

"Then _Colonel_ Mitchell, please show me to one," drawled Fields giving Mitchell a sardonic smile.

It was annoying how Fields every time said the word Colonel passed his lips, he put emphasis on it, as if it was something lowly or worthless. It was degrading and annoying as most people on Atlantis respected Mitchell, hence the title Commander that they had bestowed on him, if no one else, then that man deserved his title. The total lack of respect that Fields seemed to have for them on Atlantis, rubbed Rodney the wrong way, seriously would it kill the man to show even the barest hints or respect? The man did not even know them or how things were run on Atlantis.

Grinding his teeth together, his lips forming a thin line, Rodney ignored all his primary instincts of snapping at the man. Looking at Sheppard, Rodney was pleased to note that he was not the only one displeased by this small farce.

"Jesus if the man takes up any more time with his idiocy then we'll never get to the meeting…" grumbled Rodney.

"Relax Doc, try not to let him get to you, you're better than him." Rodney almost jumped out of his own skin when Evan's voice floated past his ear.

They were standing so close that they were almost toughing; if he would take even half a step right then he and Evan would be toughing. It was an odd feeling of lust, love and despair that came over him. It was as if the whole world had stopped moving for a millisecond when their arms touched, and Rodney did not snap out of it before Evan moved forward hurrying after the others that had already moved on. Rodney hoped no one had noticed that small encounter but it seemed as if Lady Luck was with him that day, as everyone seemed to be more concentrated on keeping their opinions of Mr. Fields hidden.

Dragging his feet, Rodney stayed completely quiet for the rest of the twenty minutes it took before they were all seated in the conference room. The air was tense, all hopes and dreams of a fair 'trial' had been shattered the moment Fields opened his mouth.

"Well then shall we stop wasting time and get started then."

The nerve of that man! Rodney really wanted to strangle Fields, he made it sound as if it was their fault that he had taken such a long time and being in general and ass.

"Of course," started Mitchell but did not get any further.

"While I'm here, the IOA have granted me the rights to interfere if I see it fit," started Fields handing Mitchell a sheet of paper marked with the IOA stamp. "As of now, if I  
give you an order you'll do as I say."

The silence was suffocating, no one had expected that. Rodney did not even have to look at Sheppard to know that the man was not having any positive thoughts about the new change in the command structure, even if it was only temporary.

"E-excuse me, but you don't have any authority over the army…" started Mitchell but was once again cut off.

"For the time being I do have, _Colonel_, so you'd better remember that. If I deem it necessary then I'll take charge if not…. Either way on to more important things, while I'm here, there will be no unnecessary gate travelling, no aliens on Atlantis, if there are some big decisions to make you ask me first, is it understood?"

A murmur of 'yes sir' followed but it was clear no one really liked the changes. Of course, they had already decided to cut down on the gate travelling for the time being but most the things he was expecting them to do was ridiculous. Rodney's head was spinning from all the childish and totally useless rules Fields was rambling up. So far Rodney had counted at least twenty of those rules and even more of Atlantis' rules that the man had changed in some way, it was frustrating to say the least.

"…Of course, gentlemen I expect these rules to be followed and enforced." Finished Fields with a satisfied quirk of his lips.

"Is there anything else you wish us to know?" asked Mitchell the sarcasm clear in his voice.

Then again, his words could not have been more spot on, for the whole hour Fields had been the one talking, making sure they knew all of his rules, but no one else had gotten a word edge vice in between. The man was not interested in keeping peace between him and the people on Atlantis he was only interested in himself and maybe in getting someone kicked out.

"No not exactly, I expect an office to have been made ready for me by tomorrow morning Colonel Mitchell, and with every ones personal files on it, that's all for now. Dismissed!"

Rodney was the second one out the door but it did not stop him from hearing Fields rude commentary to Sheppard.

"That hair of yours, cut it, after all we don't want to set a bad example for the troops, now would we?"

Rodney braced himself for the sarcastic/ flippant commentary from Sheppard but it never came. Looking at Mitchells ramrod straight back that sagged just a millimeter in relief, Rodney could tell he was not the only one relieved that Sheppard had for once not mouthed off.

Murmuring a few quiet good nights, Rodney headed for his quarters. He needed some time to think and put everything that had happened that day in perspective. He almost dreaded the debriefing he would be having with Zelenka and the other department heads, no one of them would be over joyous about the changes.

No, he was not going to think of that right now. No, he was going to take a long and hot bath and try to forget everything that is the IOA, wraith and a certain Norman Fields.

* * *

So this chapter was a bit longer than the first, I hope it was good :) Please Review and tell me about your thoughts on the story.


	3. Chapter 3

II.

EVAN

"Good morning sir!"

"Good morning."

It still amazed Evan how he of all people ended up as Colonel Sheppard's SIC. He had, ever since he heard about the Atlantis expedition wanted to be on it, but because of his place on SG-15 he had not been able to go the first time. Then he had been asked if he wanted to go on the second run, Evan had of course jumped at the chance to get to see another galaxy. He would have been happy just being on Atlantis but being the now technically third highest ranking person in the military on Atlantis was mind boggling.

He knew some people resented him for his high rank and low age (he had just turned 36), but here on Atlantis no one seemed to care. Maybe the people here just liked him better than some stuck up officer on earth or maybe he had earned their respect and trust, and Evan really hoped it was the latter even if a bit of both would not be bad.  
Humming on a song he had heard on the radio a while back, Evan did his usual morning round. He had made it into a small routine of every morning taking a small stroll through Atlantis, the jumpers bay, the infirmary, the training rooms etc. at first it had been to become more familiar with the people there and to find his way around, after a while it just became a habit, a nice and relaxing habit. More often than not, he found himself stopping and speaking with people, this usually made him late for breakfast but it had never bothered him, he had never been a big eater.

Having three meals a day was good enough for him and then maybe an apple or banana or any other fruit was always a good snack if he started to feel hungry in between meals. Evan could not help but smile when he thought about some of the marines the stack of food they piled on their trays at dinner time was almost more than what Evan ate on one day.

Thinking about food and hungry marines made Evan's thoughts spill into a bit more than forbidden territory, McKay. It would do him no good, okay the man was not even near as snappish as he was in the start and he maybe was ready to talk in a more civil manner with him, but that did not mean that the Doctor liked him. God knows McKay had more than once, whined over 'all-brawn-no-brain-explosive-happy-soldiers'. Why Evan even had entertained the thought that he would have a chance with McKay, was ridiculous. McKay did not want a grunt, a lowly Major in the army, who had studied geology and barely understood what he was talking about. And even though McKay was known to be bi, he had no idea that Evan was gay, in fact no one on Atlantis knew that he was gay, it was just not something he spoke about much.

With a determined huff, Evan pushed those thoughts out of his head and plastered his standard small and calm smile onto his face. His 'Zen-face' if he was to listen to his more than annoying teammates (AKA. Parrish and Cadman).

"Good morning sir!"

"Ah, good morning Sergeant Harriman," greeted Evan back signaling for the saluting woman to stand at ease. "You seem as if you've got something on your mind."

"Uh… yes sir. I… just wondered… these personal interviews we have to have with Fields…."

"You're wondering why he wants everyone's files?"

"Yes sir."

Evan gave the nervous woman a small reassuring smile, he understood why she was worried, not too long ago she had had a small nervous breakdown but had been back on Atlantis for almost two months and nothing had happened yet.

"Don't worry about it sergeant, the only file Fields will be looking into is your standard file, of course there is a marking that you were on an extended sick leave but no he has no right to look into your medical file," explained Evan.

He could practically see how her shoulders slumped in relief. Sergeant Harriman was a good marine, she was dedicated and smart she did not deserve getting punished over something which was not her fault. It could have been anyone getting that breakdown, after all being held captured by raving lunatics wanting to do experiments on you was enough to push anyone over the edge.

"Okay thank you sir." He was rewarded with a bright smile and a salute before she hurried away down the hall, leaving him behind with a sour taste in his mouth.

Personal interviews, ugh. Evan had gotten a few days ago an e-mail from Fields, telling him he was to gather everyone's files and give them to Fields, who would be going through them before he started with the interviews. More than that he did not know about it, they were now at the end of the first week and so Evan made a well educated guess that it would not be too long before things would start to change. So far Fields had not done more than make a few rude remarks (the man's rude remarks had done nothing else but bless him with people's dislike) and butted heads with Colonel Sheppard. It was hard to say who liked who less, Colonel Sheppard or Fields.

"You seem thoughtful today, sir."

"Ah, Doctor Henley how are you settling in, into the Botany Department?" asked Evan, his breath not even hitching when he turned around to face one of the newest addition to Parrish's botany team appeared behind him.

Henley was an interesting fellow and Evan did not mind sitting down and talking with the man. He was a bit like Zelenka, only British.

"Yes thank you Major, I must admit I didn't think I'd like it this much," answered Henley brightly in his very attractive British accent.

Evan did not continue the conversation before they were slowly walking down the corridor side by side.

"That's good. Parrish has gossiped and I must admit we've been in a bit of a pinch when it comes to the Botany Department for a while now, ever since Doctor Brown returned to earth to get married, there's been a shortage of staff."

"Well then I'm glad I accepted this post, if nothing else I enjoy working with Parrish, Dumont and Wingfield," admitted Henley happily.

"So am I, so am I. Parrish and Dumont love doing odd experiments with the plants and sometimes it works out fine, but most of the time it goes straight to hell, maybe they'll slow down a bit when they're not alone anymore."

"You don't count Wingfield?"

"Wingfield is mostly off world, living with different people helping them make simple medicine and stuff with the plants on the planets and other stuff, the man is eccentric to the point his picture should be placed in a dictionary beside the word."

"Oh… so you hope I'll be able to keep the two in check?"

"I can always hope Doctor Henley," said Evan with a small smile, "but I fear Parrish and Dumont won't care, either way I'm sure you've already heard of some of their more famous experiments."

"Oh yes! I've been approached by a lot of people giving me good advice about those two, and of course a few stories have been shared," said Henley.

"I can almost guess which stories…"

"So it's true that they made… -you know what I mean- that they extracted it from some plant?"

"Yes, all rumors about Parrish and Dumont creating a sort of more ecological and almost better lube than that what we have with us is true, and is held as their biggest achievement here on Atlantis," confirmed Evan.

"Wow, that's kind of cool."

"Well, you've just entered one of the smallest science departments on Atlantis and unfortunately their given a bit more leeway than some others."

"Oh goody," smiled Henley rubbing his hands together.

They did not talk for much longer as Henley had to go back to his plants, and so Evan continued alone once again. Not that it bothered him; he was at the end of his tour and was already heading for his office. He had a bit of paperwork to do, and for some odd reason doing paperwork was something that calmed him down. Evan was not sure if it was because of the simple routine in it, of reading and signing or if it was because he had to shut out everything else to be able to concentrate which did it for him.

He had barely sat down and started looking through his papers when the door to his office banged open and in barged Lieutenant Cadman.

"Sir! We need you in the gate room, its Colonel Sheppard and Mr. Fields!"

Evan was already out of his chair and halfway down the corridor on his way to the gate room when Cadman finished. Of course, he had expected something like this to happen but for it to happen this early on, no; Evan did not want to know what had triggered it. Colonel Sheppard was a man with seriously good self-control, and even if he mouthed off 99.9 of the time when a superior officer of his ordered him to do something, Evan knew that John was a man with an iron control over his emotions. Getting angry, especially where anyone could see, it just did not sound like the Colonel.

It was easy to find where the commotion was, as there seemed to have gathered quite the small group of watchers. Then again, Atlantis gossip channels were seriously well connected, it was almost creepy.

He was lucky that clearing his throat was all he had to do for the people to make way for him; it would have been so annoying having to elbow himself through. What he found when he got through was not a very pleasant one. Fields was redder in the face than a tomato and one could see he was not happy and Colonel Sheppard was angry too, in his eyes burned a crazy anger that any sane person would be scared of.

"What's going on?" asked Evan in a lowered voice of Zelenka who was standing on the side looking worried.

"Oh thank god, I almost thought Cadman would not find you!" whispered Zelenka pushing at his glasses nervously, "it seems as if the Colonel refused to follow an order made by Fields about some off world thing, I don't know what, actually I don't think anyone else but those two knows."

"So it's bad?"

"Very bad," said Zelenka with a defeated sigh.

"Colonel Sheppard, Mr. Fields, please stop!"

Some people had pulled back when they noticed that Evan had arrived but the majority just seemed more interested than before.

"Stay out of this Major Lorne, go sign some papers! As that seems to be the only thing you're good at!" spat Fields at him.

If nothing else, but that burned. Swallowing a sharp retort, Evan used his best 'Zen-face' and calming voice.

"I'm sorry sir but I can't do that," said Evan turning to face John instead of Fields and continued in a lowered voice, "What's going on sir? What's the man screaming about now?"

"Mr. Fields here has gotten into his head that I'm not allowed to authorize a rescue party or give orders about off world things for the time being, and that I'm not allowed to follow rescue protocol made by the SGC that not only we follow but also earth," said John his every word dripping of sarcasm.

Evan could feel a headache starting, the small throbbing behind his eyes was always a good indicator that he would not like what would come.

"I gave you specific orders _Colonel_ and I expect them to be followed, while I'm here you do as I say! And if I say that you're not to help SGA-5 then you don't do it!"

"They were being held captive, and needed help, I'm not going to stand by the side and watch them getting killed because you want to play the big man."

"Sir please, we do have our orders, and when it comes to missions off world we have a certain way we do it because of the high risks of the people held captive being killed," Evan tried to explain but Fields was not listening.

"Did I not tell you to be quiet Major? Or did you just decide not to listen?" spat Fields at him.

Seriously, how could the man expect anyone to respect him when he acted that way? It was a mystery to Evan.

"I heard you sir."

For a split second Evan though he was going to get punched in the face. He was already bracing himself for the hit, when Fields took a step back still glaring daggers and both Evan and John it was as if he could not decide which one he disliked more.

"Mark my words, this is not over, I'll deal with it in due time," growled Fields before he stalked away.

By this time most people had left, not wanting to feel the brunt of the man's anger, it was bad enough when he made a few flippant comments when he walked past or thought he could do their jobs better than them. Evan could see from the corner of his eyes a shadow standing up in the control room and when he turned his eyes locked with Commander Mitchell's who gave him a small approving nod. It seemed as if he was not the only one who had been alerted about John's small disagreement with Fields.

"Are they in the infirmary?"

"Huh?"

"SGA-5 sir, are they in the infirmary?"

"Yeah, they're getting checked over by Keller."

"I should probably go down there and talk to them?" it came out more as a question than Evan had thought.

"That's a good idea Major, make sure they all take tomorrow off, they've had a rough three days."

"Yes sir, I'll make sure of that."

With that Evan left the gate room. His day had suddenly taken a different route. Walking past Commander Mitchell's office on his way to the infirmary, he could hear the agitated voice of Norman Fields. Whatever it was he was after, it seemed as if Mitchell was not in the mood to give it to him.

Evan smirked, most people when they described Mitchell used words like, honest, nice, calm, leader but most people forgot the word stubborn, Mitchell could be exactly as hard headed and stubborn as Sheppard. And by the hard edges around his mouth and eyes, the Commander of Atlantis would not make this meeting an easy one.

CAMERON

Cameron had been sitting behind his desk in his office for the past three hours, he had not been sleeping very well and instead of rolling around in his bed he had decided to do something worthwhile. Putting his pen down on top of the paper he had been reading, Cam stretched his arms above his head, stretching, trying to work out the kinks in his back. Sitting in the exact same position without moving for three hours was not the smartest thing Cam mused.

He had been lying in bed later than usually unable to sleep, thinking of John. It was funny how he could concentrate on his work when he had John sleeping beside him but even one night when he did not know where John was and he turned into a nervous mess. Even if he now knew that John was sleeping in his own bed and not held captive somewhere on some planet, it was no better, if nothing else it was worse. Knowing exactly where his lover was and unable to reach for him and hold him.

Yes, Cam knew it, he was a lovesick fool but he could not do anything about it. He had just caught and gotten John to agree to give their relationship a try and then this annoying fool Fields turn up, it was a nightmare. John was a good leader and an even better soldier but not the best one when it comes down to emotions and relationships.  
A warm smile spread on Cam's face when thought about his lover. They had soon been together for a year and Cam hoped Fields would be gone by that time so that he could plan something extra for him and John. Just the thought of what they could be doing sent a pleasant chill down Cam's back and he could feel his pants getting a bit tight. It did no good thinking about the more pleasurable side of their relationship, especially when he had gone back in his development, reduced to relieve the tension with his hand.

"Calm and steady, Cam…" chanted Cam to himself, "you can do this it's not forever… I hope…"

It was almost pitiful how much paperwork he had undone, when he rested his head on the stack of papers on his desk, he almost did not have to bend his back at all. It did not take long before it got harder and harder for his eyes to stay open, and he drifted off into a light slumber.

He had not been asleep for more than maybe an hour and a half when the door to his office banged open and someone rushed in. It took Cam's sleep muddled brain a few seconds to recognize the slightly worried look of Doctor Keller standing in front of him.

"Doctor Keller, how can I help you?"

"Um… how should I put this Commander…? Colonel Sheppard and Mr. Fields are having a small disagreement in the gate-room."

If Cam had been even the slightest fuzzy in the head from sleep a second ago, he was nothing of the sort when he heard the words, Colonel Sheppard, Fields, and disagreement in the same sentence. Standing up with such force that his chair fell over, Cam exited the room in a whirlwind of paperwork that fell from his desk.

When he reached the control room he stopped to look down from the big windows where he had a perfect view of the gate-room. It was not a nice scene that he saw, with John and Fields staring daggers at each other, and with the way Fields mouth was moving he was chewing out John good. Just as Cam was on his way to get down there and put an end to it, he saw Major Lorne entering the room a mask of utter calmness on his face.

"Commander? Aren't you going to do anything?"

"For the moment I'll let Major Lorne take care of it, if it seems as if it won't help, then I'll interfere."

"Ah, okay…"

"Don't worry Doctor Keller, Major Lorne can handle it."

Cam watched with keen eyes what played out down in the gate-room. It seemed as if Fields was not too happy about Major Lorne's presence if the threatening way he moved towards the shorter man. Usually all Cam needed was to look but right at that moment he wished that one could hear what was being said, down in the gate-room when oneself was in the control room. It would have made things much easier, now he just had their body language to go by and it was kind of hard when one was projecting a ridiculous amount of aggressiveness and the other one was projecting more calmness than Buddha could have in a similar situation.

A small smile crept onto Cam's face, the situation was probably not the best one but he could not help it. He still had his small one on one conversation with General O'Neill fresh in his mind from when he was to leave for Atlantis for the first time.

**Flashback**

"_Ah Mitchell, come in," said O'Neill indicating for Cam to sit down, "Do you want some coffee?"_

"No thank you sir, I'm fine."

"Well then let's get down to business, you're leaving for Atlantis tomorrow morning right?"

Even though O'Neill made it sound like a question, Cam knew it wasn't. After all, O'Neill was the one who had signed off on Cam's papers and stuff.

"Yes sir, tomorrow at 0700 hours."

"Good, I know it'll be a bit different from leading the SG-1 but I think you'll manage good, after all I wouldn't have recommended if you wouldn't be able to handle it."

"Thank you sir, I think… I've read all the reports from Atlantis."

"Good, but I hope you understand that what's written in the reports isn't all that there is, right?"

"Yes sir?"

"Even if you go in as the highest commanding officer and the 'leader' of Atlantis, I know that this may sound a bit odd but… I don't want you to make the same mistake as Johnson did, poor guy barley lasted three months and you know why Colonel Mitchell?"

"No sir."

Cam had not really cared listening, Johnson was an asshole and a whiner, that he had not managed to keep Atlantis afloat was no surprise. They should just have let Woolsey continue.

"Because he thought he could come there as a newbie and rule it like an emperor."

"Sir?"

"Oh what the hell, what I'm trying to say is that Sheppard and Lorne is a one package deal, you piss off one of them you piss off the other one too. They have each other's backs and they've both been on Atlantis for a long time, the people there respect them, so I guess what I'm trying to say is, that yes you're the leader but don't ignore them and what's most important is don't aggravate them 'cause they can get nasty."

"Don't worry sir, I'm not Johnson."

"Yes I know, and thank god for that! Either way, you know them don't you?"

"Sheppard and Lorne, yeah I know them, Sheppard better than Lorne though, but I don't think it'll be a problem."

"Good, well then Colonel I wish you good luck," said O'Neill.

They shook hands and then Cam walked out from the room.

**End of flashback**

O'Neill had been right. Arriving on Atlantis, Cam had used a kind but firm hand showing that he was not there to push them down. He had listened to John's and Evan's advices, and in return they had listened to him. In the end, he had earned the respect of the people on Atlantis, earning himself the title Commander. Almost no one called him Colonel anymore, it was just Commander and he liked it.

Of course, he probably had been in a better position than anyone else coming after Weir as her replacement, as he had known John already in the Academy where they had become friends. From the first time they had met, Cam could still remember the day as if it had only happened hours ago; he had been instantly attracted to John when they had run into each other in the halls of the Academy. Unfortunately nothing had happened between them at the time but in the end Cam did not mind, after all he had gotten his one love, as his mother used to say "if you're meant for each other then it won't matter if you're separated for a while, because you'll meet again one day", and she had been right.

Cam stood up in the control room until he had made sure that the confrontation was over, and saw how Fields stormed out. It was not a positive sight, and it made Cam worry that the man would not forget this small encounter very easily.

Turning around Cam walked back to his office to take care of the last pieces of paperwork. He had a small feeling that he would have a very angry guest in his office in a few minutes, and he did not want to be taken by surprise.

Sinking down in his chair, Cam started to fill out the papers but like he expected he did not get far before for the second time of the day his office door was slammed open this time not by a worried friend but by a furious clown.

"Mr. Fields how can I help you?"

"Don't joke with me, Colonel! I will not tolerate this kind of insubordination, if you won't punish them I will!"

"Punish? Punish who, Mr. Fields? Colonel Sheppard for doing his job or perhaps Major Lorne who stopped your small fight from escalating, neither man did anything else but their jobs. Why should I punish them for that?"

Cam could see that Fields was seething on the inside. Not that it would do the man any good, Cam knew it probably was not one of his better plans to say no to Fields, but he was not going to punish either John or Evan when they for once followed the rules and did their jobs whilst following said rules. Nothing that Fields was saying would make him change that.

Blue eyes met brown in an intense staring game that lasted only seconds before Fields blinked and looked away. It was a small victory for Cam, but a victory nonetheless.

"Fine, I shall let it pass this time, but if it happens again, they can both, kiss their careers goodbye," hissed Fields.

"Believe me Mr. Fields, this way everyone will be much happier," _except for you_, said Cam leaving the end of the sentence unsaid.

"Let's hope so Colonel Mitchell, let's hope so."

"Well then if you'll please excuse me Mr. Fields, I've got as you can see, tons of paperwork to fill out."

No apology, no nothing left Fields mouth, as the man turned around and left. His shoulders squared a very certain indicator that he was not happy with how things had turned out. Not that it was Cam's problem, even though he promised himself to try and keep a better lookout when Fields was in close range with either John or Evan.

Yawning, Cam went back to work. He really was not cutout for the job of signing papers, but it had to be done so there was not much he could do about it. After all, he did not have the luxury that John had, who shipped off all his papers to Evan who took care of them without a complaint. Actually, Cam was sure they had a some kind of agreement going on, because there was a very clear pattern in whose signature there was on the papers as it was not that big of a deal if it was not about some more important paper, on all those papers that had numbers on them it was John's messy but neat handwriting and on everything else there was Evan's artistic and graceful signature.

"Well Cameron, there ain't no time like the present, let's do this before you get stuck to the chair," said Cam to himself.

* * *

So that was it, the third chapter is up and running :)


	4. Chapter 4

III.

NORMAN FIELDS

Cramped. Undisciplined. Unprofessional Officers. Lax. Annoying. Unnecessary and the list went on and on and on and on. There really was not a single positive adjective that Norman could use to describe Atlantis. He had not been too keen on going there in the first place, his thoughts on the place was far from objective, but since he had gotten there they had only gotten worse.

He could not stand the aliens in the Milky Way, and he did not like the aliens here in the Pegasus Galaxy any better. Especially that Ronon, big lug, should not be allowed on Atlantis at all. To think that, that annoying man Sheppard actually let aliens be members of Stargate teams was a disgrace.

Then again, Sheppard was not known for following orders very well and that Norman had seen firsthand. If he would have any say in it, he would have kicked Sheppard out from the Air Force a long time ago. Just thinking of the tall and black haired man, made Norman angry a bitter taste rising in his mouth.

When he had been chosen as the IOA representative, he had gladly accepted seeing it as his chance to make some changes and maybe put himself in a better position. He had read many field reports, personnel lists, and one name had stood out from the start, a name Norman knew would cause trouble, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard.  
Norman shuddered. Sheppard stood for everything Norman disliked. The man was rash, undisciplined, did not follow orders and as if it was not enough rich as hell (it was probably daddy's money that had gotten him his Lt. Colonel position) and good looks. Oh how good it would feel to be able to wipe that somewhat lazy quirk off Sheppard's lips.

Yes that would be fun, very fun indeed. Norman had had big dreams about it before he arrived on Atlantis but now after his small confrontation with Sheppard he was even more so determined to do it, but he had run into a small problem. Norman snorted at his pun, _small _problem, Major Evan Lorne. When he had read about the people on Atlantis he had brushed the Major off as unimportant but it seemed as if he had been a bit hasty. Smirking Fields thought about that lithe body and slim waist. He was not normally into guys but he could make an exception, but first he needed some background information. Who knew what one could find and maybe he could use the Major against Sheppard.

"Well, well Norman it seems as if you're going to it two birds with one stone," chuckled Norman to himself.  
There were a lot of people he did not like on Atlantis, but if he got Sheppard and Lorne out then he did not care about the others. After all, why go after the smallest fish in the pond when you can hunt bigger ones.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS  
**

"Come on now, I don't have all day," snapped Norman.

On this day, he had been on Atlantis for two weeks and four days, the day before some woman Teyla had gotten back from off-world, stupid alien woman, should never have come back but of course she did, after all she was one of the aliens on Sheppard's gate-team. Today was the day that he was going to start with the personal interviews he was to have with every single person on Atlantis to see if they were fit members of the 'crew'. Take note that he was not too happy about it; there were almost three hundred people on Atlantis.

He had already held four of them and it was not looking promising, they all seemed to be misfits and pro-Sheppard people. What a disappointment.

_Interview nr 4_

_Name: Felicia Harmon  
Soldier/__**Scientist  
**__Department: Linguistics  
Gate-team: none  
Age: 42  
Sex: female  
years of service on Atlantis: 3 years_

_N: Your name?_

_F: Felicia Harmon, sir._

_N: Occupation here on Atlantis?_  
_F: I'm a scientist, sir. I work with the languages here in the Pegasus Galaxy._

_N: Why did you choose to come to Atlantis, Miss Harmon?_

_F: I was asked to join the expedition three years ag-_

_N: I didn't ask anything about when you joined, Miss Harmon I asked why you joined._

_F: I- I joined because I was asked, sir._

_N: By whom?_

_F: By the government, like everyone else I suppose._

_N: You suppose or you know?_

_F: I know sir._

_N: Then you should've said so._

_F: Sorry sir._

_N: Continuing. Do you see yourself as a follower of the rules?_

_F: Yes sir, I do._

_N: So if I told you to do something and then Colonel Sheppard would say something else, whose order would you follow?_

_F: Colonel Sheppard's sir, he is my boss in a way after all._

_N: Then you're a liar Miss Harmon; you're not a follower of the rules._

_F: Excuse me sir!_

_N: Excuse what, Miss Harmon? I'm merely stating a fact here._

_F: What you're saying doesn't base on anything solid!_

_N: Yes it does Miss Harmon, now I think this interview is done, you may go._

_Interview nr 26_

_Name: Dietrich Summer  
__**Soldier**__/Scientist__**  
**__Department: none  
Gate-Team: SGA-6  
Age: 24  
Sex: male  
years of service on Atlantis: 4 ½ year_

_N: Name?_

_D: Dietrich Summer, sir._

_N: So you're a soldier, how long have you been on Atlantis?_

_D: I've been here for 4 ½ year now, sir._

_N: You're German?_

_D: Yes sir, from Hamburg._

_N: Have you served anywhere else?_

_D: No sir, I haven't._

_N: Really? And you like it here on Atlantis?_

_D: Yes sir I do, it's different, I like meeting the people here in the Pegasus Galaxy._

_N: Meeting? You think this is some holiday resort, this is a military base it has no room for aliens._

_D: I think it would be more appropriate to call us aliens when we're here._

_N: Like fucking them?_

_D: Excuse me sir?_

_N: I asked whether you like fucking them? Is it some perverse fetish you've got?_

_D: NO! I never said anything like that!_

_N: Calm down Sergeant, there's no reason to get mad. After all, we're just discussing._

_D: I'm calm._

_N: Well it doesn't look like it, it makes me wonder whether you're really fit for duty._

_D: wh- what!?_

_N: Well it seems as if we're done Sergeant._

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

"_Connection with earth has been established"  
_  
"Finally, took them long enough to do it, aren't they supposed to be the best?" muttered Norman.

He had a very important call to make and he did not appreciate being held up. Sitting down by his desk, Norman powered up his laptop. It did not take long before he had gotten through and he was looking at a woman standing on the other side of the screen.  
_  
"Good to see you sir."_

"Thank you Fiona has thing changed since I left?"  
_  
"No sir, things are progressing here as normal."_

"Good, I want you to do something for me."  
_  
"Anything sir."_

"Good, you can't tell anyone about this and you'll have to be very discreet, I don't want this being trailed back to me. I want you to find me some information on a certain Major Evan Lorne, I want him off Atlantis."  
_  
"Of course sir I understand."  
_  
"I knew you would understand my dear Fiona," said Norman a small smirk on his face.

After this Major Lorne would wish he had never helped Sheppard. Since the argument – that was what Norman had named his authority fight with Sheppard – he had changed his plan a bit. First he would get back at Lorne, a dishonorable discharge sounded right but first he would have some fun with him, and then he would turn his whole attention on Sheppard, he would make both men's lives miserable.

Norman could not help but chuckle, a small sound more similar to a cat who had just caught the canary, than anything else.  
_  
"I'll see what I can find sir, and I'll send it with the Daedalus. Good luck sir." _

He did not answer but he did cut off their video conversation. He had things to do and plan. Leaning back in his chair Norman started to plan. He had about two- three weeks before the Daedalus would be arriving. That meant a lot of time for him to finish the interviews and see who needed to go and who maybe could stay.

It was good that he had Fiona; the woman was more loyal to him than a dog could ever be, and she only worked for him. He had hired her when he was picked as a member for the IOA, because he had needed someone to make background checks on his co-workers. It had ended with him hiring her because she was so good at finding the dirt on people. Norman just hoped that she this time too would find something worthwhile. Because a speeding ticket was not going to get Norman what he wanted. He wanted to totally humiliate Lorne, to make sure the man get's the memo that no one, no one humiliates Norman Fields in public, well not even in private.

CAMERON

Cam was itchy. Yes itchy, there was no other way to describe the feeling that was welling up inside of him. Every time he walked past John, Cam's fingers would itch, it took most of his self-control not to reach out and touch his lover. A simple pat was the most intimate they had been able to be since the arrival of Fields, and the pat only made the itch worse.

He wanted to touch John, to feel that warm skin under his palms, trace those scars with his finger. He wanted to hold his lover close, just hold him and never let go. It was desperate but he could not help it, either way he was sure that he had seen something similar in John's eyes when they had met a few times in the hallway.

Not that he was the only one; the tension on Atlantis was high at the moment. Everyone were looking over their shoulders, almost no extra activity was going on, no one wanted there to be any reasons for them to be kicked out from Atlantis. Especially as Fields had started with the interviews, and if Cam was to believe Sergeant Summer, then those interviews was so much more than an objective discussion between personnel and inspector.

Because, there was one thing Cam was sure of, and that was that Fields was not making himself a popular person on Atlantis. Of course, that was only if Cam went by those ugly nicknames people already had given the man or the whispers in the halls and the glares. It was as if Fields had sucked all life out of Atlantis, a dark cloud was hanging over the place. For some reason the only way Cam could describe it, was that it was the calm before the storm and for once he did not look forward to the storm. Not one bit.

_"Connection with earth has been established"_

Cam did not stop in his thinking but neither did he continue on the same track as he had before, instead he sat down by his computer and powered it up. At exactly five minutes past the announcement that the connection had been established, a video chat screen popped up on Cam's screen.

Nodding at the man on the other side of the video feed, Cam made himself comfortable in his chair.

"General O'Neill, it's good to see you."  
_  
"It's good to see you too, Mitchell, how's it going with Fields?"  
_  
"Not too good I'm afraid," said Cam with a heavy sigh, "he's been pissing off people from the minute he set foot here on Atlantis."  
_  
"Sound like Fields alright, at least you don't have to worry about him being a fake."  
_  
"Very funny General now is there anything you can tell me about him?"  
_  
"Yeah there is, be careful. Fields is infamous about his dislike of 'aliens' for him they should all be enslaved by us or killed. Either way, he is one of the few in the IOA that is lobbing for the closing of Atlantis, or at least the removing of aliens from the base."  
_  
"Great… He got into a small fight with Sheppard a few days ago, and Major Lorne came in between, Fields was livid about it."  
_  
"That's not good, but there isn't much you can do about it, Fields could get annoyed at you if you so sneezed while you were eating take-out half across the country from you. One can never be certain about him."  
_  
"Is there anything else I should be aware of?"  
_  
"There are lots of things that could be good to know abo- Danny, what're you doing here?"  
_  
"Daniel," greeted Cam when he saw Doctor Daniel Jackson appear on the screen beside O'Neill.  
_  
"Good, I was afraid I'd missed you."  
_  
"Why? We haven't even talked for five minutes yet…"  
_  
"I saw Fiona coming out from one of the more private rooms holding a laptop looking smug."  
_  
"Fiona?"  
_  
"Fiona Wilder, Fields personal assistant and lapdog, she does everything for him. Rumors say that she can find shit on anyone," _Said O'Neill butting back into the conversation.  
_  
"_ Oh great… things are just getting better and better."  
_  
"Yeah she's one sneaky chick, but there isn't much we can do about her," _said Daniel running a hand through his hair.

Cam had to smirk at the gesture. Daniel had not too long ago gotten his eyes fixed with some alien device and so he did not need his glasses anymore, but having had glasses for so long it was impossible to get rid of the habit of pushing them upwards, and so Daniel had taken to run his hand through his hair instead.

Not that Cam was complaining or anyone else for that matter, Daniel was not bad looking, on the contrary he was rather good looking and even better so without his glasses. Not that Cam was interested, not only because he was head over heels in love with John but also because Doctor Jackson was forbidden territory. It was a kind of open secret inside the SG-1 that Daniel and O'Neill were lovers or a couple or whatever they wanted to call each other. And one had to be crazy to make a move on Daniel, and if one did make a move then not expect to be alive the next day. O'Neill was territorial and very possessive of 'his' scientist.  
_  
"Is he very annoying?" _wondered Daniel sounding worried.

"Well that's a matter of opinion, I think if he died the majority of us here on Atlantis would break out the booze and the rest would happily stomp on his corpse."  
_  
"Ah, charming…"  
_  
"Yeah, he's very set on having things done his way. I wouldn't wonder if he put up a curfew to make sure he always knows where everyone is."

Cam later on would find it creepy how accurate he had been when he said this and was glad he had no idea at the time about what Fields was planning. After all, there is the saying ignorance is bliss and at the moment those words could not be more precise.  
_  
"Let's hope it won't go that far, no one on the military side likes Fields, I'm not even sure if the other's in the IOA likes him, at least Woolsey doesn't like Fields."  
_  
"Well isn't that good to know… How did he even get into the IOA?"  
_  
"Well my dear Colonel I've got no idea, and neither does Danny, or do you?"_

"Nope, I've tried asking around but hey, the IOA works in a mysterious way sometimes."

"You can say that again," muttered Cam, scratching his neck thoughtfully.

He felt a bit defeated. He was not sure what it was he had expected to hear, but this was far from good. If O'Neill was worried then it was serious business, Fields was more trouble than Cam had anticipated.  
_  
"Come on Mitchell cheer up, you'll get through this, don't get worked up over nothing and try to relax until something actually happens. Fields is a creep but not even he can do anything he likes."  
_  
"Thanks… I think…"  
_  
"You're welcome! Either way, Danny and I have to go, some dudes from D5X-554 wants to talk to us. Take care Mitchell and make sure Fields don't gets too close to Sheppard, what I've heard Sheppard ain't exactly Fields favorite type of guy."  
_  
Cam did not even have time to respond before O'Neill cut off the connection leaving Cam with a blank screen and too many thoughts running through his head. He had already kind of summarized that Fields did not liked John, but something in the way O'Neill said it made Cam worried that Fields may have some kind of motive for his picking and criticizing of John.

Atlantis could not afford loosing John that was a fact. John was the one who kept Atlantis floating, who inspired everyone; the one who had this crazy connection to the city, no Cam would not let Fields remove John from his post as the Military Leader. This was John's home, John had not exactly said it out loud to him, but Cam knew that his partner counted Atlantis and the Pegasus Galaxy more as home than earth ever had been.

It would break his lover, to have to leave Atlantis. A very good example of this was when John and the rest of the personnel on Atlantis had been forced from the city when they had been cheated by the Replicators. John had not taken it well and Cam would rather be fed to the wraith, than let John go through that agony again.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

It was not hard for Cam to figure out where John was hiding. It was only to follow the path that the marines looking tired and well beaten were coming from. By the looks of it, it was not only John who was letting out some steam. Cam did not stop to talk to any of the marines but he did get his guess confirmed, John was with Ronon and Teyla in one of the training rooms, but they were finishing up so he should hurry if he wanted to catch the Colonel before he disappeared again somewhere on Atlantis.

With a small bunt of papers underneath his arm Cam quickened his pace when he passed a freshly showered Ronon. That meant John and Teyla would not be far behind, even if Ronon held quite the amazing record in fastest showers, did not mean that everyone else took hours upon hours of getting washed and dressed.  
Cam did not even have to go all the way to the showers as when he rounded the last corner almost walked straight into Teyla, John only about half a step behind her.

"Oh, sorry I didn't see you there Teyla have you had a nice day so far?"

"Yes thank you Commander for asking."

"That's good," said Cam smiling down at the exotic woman before he turned to face John who had yet to say a word, "I hope you've got some spare time Colonel because I need to speak with you."

He could see the question in John's eyes but even though he trusted Teyla, who knew if there was someone standing in a small nook listening in or just watching the security feed. It was better this way, either way he actually had a few real papers for John to look over with Major Lorne so it was not completely bogus.

"I've got some papers that you need to take a look at," explained Cam waiving the papers he had in his hand in front of John.

"Oh, okay."

"Well if the Commander needs you John then I'll be going, I'll see you in the mess hall for lunch," said Teyla and bid her goodbyes. She left with a pat on John's shoulder and a nod for Cam.

They walked in silence, close enough for Cam to feel the heat radiating from John but not close enough to touch. Cam was lucky that no one really took much notice of them on their way to his office, because that would just have been embarrassing on his part as he could not take his eyes off John. With his hair still wet and smelling of that soap he used, it was a wonder that Cam had not gotten a hard on.

If the way John was stubbornly staring straight in front of him was anything to go by then he had noticed Cam's more than a bit wandering eyes. It was kind of cute how John always seemed to get a bit uncomfortable when it came down to sex and things concerning sex. Maybe it was because throughout his whole life people have thrown themselves at him, seeing him more as an object than a person and now here was Cam who yes wanted him sexually but not because of his looks but because of who he was. Cam did not know, but he knew John good enough to make a very well educated guess.

Closing the door behind them, locking it properly Cam had never been more happy that he only had a huge window looking out over the sea instead of glass walls on the inside like John's and Evan's office so that anyone walking past could see into it.

Turning around Cam took two steps towards John before he stopped. Spreading his arms Cam could not help but grin when he saw his lover watching him with suspicious eyes.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because someone could see."

"Nah, I've locked the door."

"Still why?"

"Can I say I've missed you?"

Cam gave John a small pout, batting his eyelashes whilst trying not to throw away his poker face. Vala was right; when it came to John he had no poker face whatsoever to talk about. It was almost sad. Then again, when it got him what he wanted, he did not particularly care whether it held or not.

It felt nice holding his lover. Burying his nose in John's hair, Cam let himself enjoy the private moment they were sharing.

"I've missed this…"

"Me too John, me too," murmured Cam still not letting his grip around John's waist loosen.

"So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"And what if this was the only thing I wanted? What if I don't have anything to say?" asked Cam.

"That's bullshit and you know it," said John pulling away from Cam.

"Yeah it is," admitted Cam, before he got more serious, "I spoke with O'Neill and Jackson when he had contact with earth. John, please you need to be careful, hell all of us need to be careful with Fields! He's a creep and an asshole but a somewhat influential one."

Cam waited for John to say something but as is lover kept quiet he continued.

"Fields wants to shut down Atlantis, and he'll make that possible with any means necessary. He doesn't like aliens, he doesn't like people who don't do as he says, and he doesn't like you and with what happened a few days ago, Major Lorne may just have stepped into the line of fire, I love you and god knows Atlantis needs you, I don't want you to be sent back to flying people around in Antarctica."

"Cam, I know you're worried and I know the man's difficult to deal with but I can't just lay down and rollover," said John sitting down in one of the chairs in the room, "Fields want a lot but I can't just turn a blind eye to his doings or else we'll all die, God knows only a few months ago we had a huge wraith attack, what if one comes along while Fields is still here? I can't give him the reins or else no one is coming out alive from it, and you know it!"

"I know, but try at least to not openly challenge him, and let's hope he doesn't stay for too long. Although it seems as if he'll be staying for quite some time…"

"I'll try but I can't promise anything, he doesn't like me and nothing will change his opinion so I dare say it'll be a few very interesting months," said John with a sigh.

"Thanks, that's all I'm asking of you, maybe you should warn Major Lorne too, he always seems to know odd stuff but I really don't want anyone taken by surprise, the IOA is always hard to deal with and an IOA member with an grudge and dislike for all we do and stand for is even worse."

"You don't have to worry about me, let's both just try and keep Fields as far away from everyone else as possible. I know this sounds odd but I don't think I'm his primary target anymore, and don't ask me why I say that, it's just a gut feeling I have right now."

Cam smiled at that, it was such a typical answer from John. They did not really say much else, they could not exactly stay locked into Cam's office for hours or else it would look a bit suspicious. Even then, Cam was still worried about what O'Neill had said about that Fiona woman, everyone had a past, but with a man like Fields who knew what it would be turned into.

Just before John was about to open the office door to go and continue with his own work, he turned to face Cam.

"Cam… We can do this, okay? Everyone has a past, some with skeletons and some without skeletons but we can't give up. We've gone through too much to give up now."

Cam was not sure whether John was trying to reassure him or both of them. Either way he was right, but that did not stop Cam from worrying. Fields, was a man who if stuck inside a burning house would happily sacrifice everyone else in there if it meant he would get out, it was disgusting.

"Yeah John, we can do this, make sure everyone's on their guard."

"I will, take care now."

"I love you Colonel Sheppard."

"I love you too, and I'm not going to give up Atlantis, not even to God."

"I know."

"Good."

* * *

So that's it for today :) please review and tell me what you thought!


	5. Chapter 5

IV.

RODNEY

"Stupid. Useless. Mind numbing idiotic…"

"Why is it that always when I find you here in your lab Doctor McKay, you're always mumbling about useless, stupid or any other synonym for these two words?"

"AAHH! Major Lorne what have I told you about sneaking around!"

"That I shouldn't do it, and that I should walk louder so that you won't get a heart attack because then there won't be anyone on Atlantis smart enough to save it."

"Exactly, so then why are you sneaking up on me?"

"Sorry, I did knock and I did announce myself but you were very into whatever you're doing right now."

"Oh really," said Rodney crossing his arms over his chest whilst looking at Lorne.

Lorne as usual looked calm and relaxed, as if there was not a single trouble in the world. Sometimes, yes observe sometimes Rodney was jealous of the Major's talent of staying calm and not get angry, or at least letting it show outwards what he thought. The Major's calm was a bit like Sheppard's emotionless mask that came up when he got mad or in a serious gunfire or something when they were off world.

"So why are you here?"

"I heard you're in charge of putting up the new…" for a moment Lorne trailed off not looking too pleased when he continued, "security cameras that Fields has gotten for us."

"Yes I am, and god knows why, we've got perfectly well functioning live detectors already up, that we've been using since we got here," complained Rodney sitting down in his chair.

"Well from what I've heard these cameras will be for Fields eyes only and possible other members from the IOA, be glad Fields isn't allowed to have them put up in our private quarters," said Lorne in a dry voice.

"What? You mean Sheppard wasn't joking when he said Fields had wanted it?"

"Nope, thank God Commander Mitchell got the man to change his mind, after all having cameras put up in every ones bathrooms would be a bit more than creepy."

"Oh you don't say!"

"Well I'm supposed to help you, so I just thought I'd see when you were going to do it," said Lorne.

That took Rodney by surprise. He had thought he was just going to be assigned some marine that would make sure nothing happened while he fixed the cameras, putting them in place but this was both much better and much worse. The thought of spending a few hours alone with Lorne, made Rodney's blood burn but on the same time he was worried. What if he said something odd? Or what if he totally embarrassed himself? Right now the only real communication he had with Lorne, was when the man came down to the labs or was assigned as the day's lab rat, or when they were on a mission together and Rodney did not want their somewhat odd and steady friendship to break. At least this was better than no communication at all.

"Oh really? And is it forced participation or will you be there from your own free will?"

"Don't you worry about that Doctor McKay; I'm not being forced to do anything. Actually I'm quite looking forward to it; it gives me the opportunity to spend a few hours out from my office that's not the mess hall or off world or sleeping, or the infirmary."

"Well they got here the day before yesterday so I thought I'd do it tomorrow, when most people are off world and not running around the hallways."

Most people not on duty, or more specific important duty like watching out for enemies and stuff had been invited to join the Athosians on the mainland to celebrate that they had now been allied for six years. Rodney had already declined when Teyla had asked him and now when he got stuck with this camera thingy problem it just made things easier. He knew she had been a bit disappointed that Rodney would not be there, but both Ronon and Sheppard would go as most other people, even Mitchell would be going. Fields like the real party pooper but to most peoples' happiness, would not be leaving Atlantis.

"You're not going to the festivities?"

"No, I had a lot I had thought I'd be able to finish when I'd have the lab to myself but now it seems the whole day will go to putting up cameras instead."

"Don't worry Doc, we'll do it quick then you can go back to your small projects. When do you want to start?"

"Everyone will leave after breakfast so then?"

"That's fine by me, I'll meet you in the mess hall," said Lorne a small smile appearing on his handsome face.

For a moment Rodney could do nothing but look, trying not to let his obvious lust for the man in front of him show. That would be a bit awkward.

"I'll see you then Major."

"You too doctor, don't overwork yourself."

With those words Lorne turned around and left. Rodney could not stop his eyes from following the Major's retreating form. He did not let himself breath before the door shut, taking a deep breath Rodney slumped in his chair. He was fucked. Falling in love with a man, a man who was straight and if he was gay then restricted by the DADT (although working on Atlantis did mean it was not as empowered here as on earth but still) was probably the worst plan he had ever had.

Okay the whole man part was not a problem for him, Rodney had known for a long time already that he was bi, but living on a place like Atlantis, where everyone lived so tight and where half the people were in the army, it kind of restricted things. Yes, Rodney knew there were a lot of gay people in the army, even if he did not know many couples on Atlantis, Rodney knew there were many of them but he did know that Stackhouse and Markham were a couple and they were both marines and he knew people knew he was bi but he tried not to think about it, he was not sure if Lorne knew but he tried not to think about 'what if…'.

Rubbing his forehead, Rodney went back to his project. Whatever Fields said, he was not going to put his ZPM project on hold, it was absolutely too valuable and important for that. Even Mitchell had said so, after the last wraith attack they were left with almost drained ZPMs. They had been lucky to find a half full ZPM on a deserted planet, but that was as far as their luck had reached before it had ended.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

It was a bit sad watching everyone happily chatting about how fun and relaxing it would be to spend some time with the Athosians, but on the same time Rodney knew it was better to do it now than later. Or else he would never get the job done.

John, Teyla and Ronon had just gone through the gate, leaving Rodney alone in the mess hall where he was waiting for Lorne to appear. He had seen the man earlier that day, talking and playing a game of chess against Zelenka. Rodney did not get it, Lorne always lost when he played against Zelenka and still he continued to play, accepting Zelenka's challenge.

Eating his blue jelly, Rodney saw Fields walking towards him. A determined and somewhat displeased look on his face, sighing Rodney tried not to look too sour. The man had been on Atlantis for about a month and for every day that passed Rodney liked the man less. Fields had actually dared telling him, Doctor Rodney McKay what to do, coming into the labs setting up rules and regulations.

"Doctor McKay," greeted Fields.

"Mr. Fields how can I help you?" asked Rodney trying not to grimace.

"The cameras, when are you putting them up?"

"Don't worry about that, I'm doing it today when there are less people in the hallways."

"Good, I want them up and running as fast as possible."

"Yes sir."

And with that Fields walked away, ignoring the glares that were sent his way. That was if he even noticed them, the man was so self-centered that Rodney doubted if the man even saw or heard anyone else but himself. Under the weeks Fields had been on Atlantis it had become very clear that the man liked hearing his own voice.

"Charming, what did he want?"

Rodney did not look up from his jelly when he felt someone sit down beside him. He did not need to, the only person on Atlantis with that particular scent and a way of sounding sarcastic even if he was not was Lorne. Sheppard has more than once said that Lorne had mastered one thing the majority of all authors on earth would kill for, and that was being sarcastic when writing and that other people would understand it without one having to write it out. Lorne had an amazing ability of being able to make his text sound sarcastic, even some of his reports dripped of sarcasm, something Sheppard found funny but the higher ups (chough General Landry cough) did not.

"He was wondering about the cameras," said Rodney.

"Should we get started or…?" asked Lorne looking at Rodney's jelly.

"Yeah I'm done I was just waiting for you to show up," said Rodney defending his jelly.

Scraping the last of the jelly from the bottom with his spoon, Rodney put away his tray. He was ready to start, the faster they got going the faster they would be done. Atlantis was quiet, it was odd how little sound the city made, usually the halls were filled with sounds from people talking, to boots touching the floor, guns being loaded and now when almost everyone were gone except for a handful of people that were needed to keep the city running it felt odd. Empty and quiet in a way that was totally unfamiliar to Rodney, but on the same time relaxing it was nice walking down the empty corridors with Lorne beside him.

He was not listening really to what Lorne was saying but he also knew that if he really listened and answered the man then that would be like asking to be sent to the infirmary to get his head checked. It was a usual routine nowadays between them, which had been established off world. Lorne found it really annoying when Rodney went on and on and on about something but Rodney could not stand when it was totally quiet, his mind going on over drive. So Lorne had once just started to talking in that really sexy and calm voice about whatever came to his mind, he spoke about the weather, about his hobbies, the army, meetings whatever came to his mind at that point and Rodney had found it soothing, that was probably when he had admitted to himself that there were worse people he could have a crush on and his crush had evolved into feelings of love.

It took them almost an hour to get five cameras installed, they had over a hundred cameras that were to be installed and lots and lots of surface to cover, after all Atlantis was not a small city. Rodney installed them and Lorne held up pieces or just gave a helping hand when needed, and soon they fell into a comfortable routine making the job go much faster.

"Jesus, five done, a hundred more to go," groaned Rodney when he pushed the last button on the fifth camera, making sure it would turn on when all were set.

"102 if you want to be exact."

"You're not helping Major… Not at all…"

Rodney almost fell down from the ladder when he looked down and straight into Lorne's beautiful eyes, Lorne was smiling cheekily up at him. Gripping the ladder Rodney had to take a deep breath before he started climbing down. They did not waste any minutes by standing around, and so they continued down the hallway to keep putting up the video surveillance.

"I feel like some creep, I mean why does the cameras have to be straight outside the showers and personal quarters," said Lorne sounding disgusted.

"You're not the only one Major. At least we can take comfort in the fact that we're not the creeps."

"Yeah… It's just wrong, everyone have the right to their own privacy and Fields just… urgh…"

"Pisses you off? Makes you feel uncomfortable? Etc etc."

"Yeah, you know throughout my interview with him, he stared at me asking the rudest questions, and he would not stop looking at me in this really unpleasant way, it was unsettling to say the least."

For a split seconds split second Rodney swore he could see something in Lorne's eyes, it was as if all walls all everything fell off Lorne and he was in a none literal way naked to Rodney's eye, every secret and every wish laid open.

"I can imagine, he sure didn't spare any ammunition with me either," admitted Rodney thinking back on his own interview.

It had been a disaster. He had been in a bad mood that day and having to spend any time with Fields had put him in an even worse mood. Rodney could happily admit that it had been the worst forty-five minutes of his life, and he had since coming to the Pegasus Galaxy had quite the number of bad encounters.

Rodney did not like the way Lorne spoke of his interview, he seemed uncomfortable about it. As if looking had been the only thing Fields had done, it did not sit well with him.  
Not that he could bring it up, without Lorne becoming suspicious. He had no idea what he had seen, it had been raw and natural and something told Rodney that if he understood that pain he had seen then he would understand Lorne just a bit better than he had done before.

He just did not like the small nagging voice in the back of his mind that was telling him it was not exactly a fun and happy story. Taking a deep breath Rodney did one thing he had never done, and after all he was doing this purely based on a hunch. And seriously, Rodney knew he was not the best one when it came to understanding other people's emotions and helping them.

"You know… you can talk to me about things right? I know we're probably not best friends but I do count you as one, even if we do seem to disagree on a lot."

For a moment Rodney swore he saw red coloring Lorne's cheeks but it was gone as fast as it had appeared and once again stood Major Evan Lorne, very competent and professional USAF pilot in front of him.

"Don't you worry about it Doc, we just had a small disagreement over a few things, nothing to be worried about," said Lorne.

"Oh, okay then let's continue I want to get this done today."

"Yeah."

God what was he supposed to do, he was getting some serious mixed signals from the Major. Rodney was not used to having to guess about people's feelings, and he did not like it either, mostly because he was kind of bad at it. At one minute Lorne's being all professional and cool headed and in the next, Rodney catches him staring with this odd look in his eyes.

The rumors about Lorne were not unfamiliar to Rodney. He had heard most of them, some of them saying the Major were gay, but Rodney found it stupid to label someone gay just because he liked to paint. NO, as long as there were no evidence to say otherwise Rodney would keep on thinking of Evan as straight. He was not going to take that chance of being wrong, not when it came to his love-life, or more accurately at the moment his non-existent love-life.

That was when it hit Rodney. He needed to make a plan to find out what the Major was feeling. But of course, he needed to be sneaky about it. Or maybe not sneaky, honest was probably more the word he was looking for when he was talking about Lorne.

Yes, he needed to do this. He could not continue being scared-Rodney; he needed to become brave-Rodney, because when there was a chance he would die in some nasty and gruesome way the next day, Rodney needed to be sure. For once in his life he could not let happiness slip through his fingers.

EVAN

"You know… you can talk to me about things right? I know we're probably not best friends but I do count you as one, even if we do seem to disagree on a lot."

It came out a bit stiff and most people would probably think McKay only did it to be nice, but Evan knew better. With the amount of time he had spent with the Doctor, he knew McKay never said anything he did not mean. Those few words made Evan happier than he had ever been, a small blush started to creep up on his face but he got it under control before it had the time to spread.

He did not want to blow his cover, so Evan forced himself back into his zen-state, afraid that McKay would find him odd or disgusted with him, just because McKay was bi did not mean he would be attracted to Evan.

"Don't you worry about it Doc, we just had a small disagreement over a few things, nothing to be worried about," assured Evan.

McKay looked still a bit uncomfortable and not totally assured but he kept quiet. Evan was too happy to notice it; he was still floating on small fluffy clouds from McKay's, no Rodney's, words. Rodney counted him as a friend.

"Oh, okay then let's continue I want to get this done today."

Forcing down a happy laugh, Evan looked Rodney straight in the eyes.

"Yeah."

After that they continued putting up the cameras without any breaks, for some reason Evan thought Rodney seemed to be caught up in his own thoughts, but he did not think much about it. After all he too had much to think about. Ever since his interview with Fields, Evan had had a hard time concentrating. Old memories threatening to break free, memories he had thought were well buried and forgotten.

Not that it was that bad, he was used to bad memories assaulting him, keeping him awake at night, it was the fact that Fields _knew_, that worried him. Of course, Colonel Sheppard had warned him about what he had heard from Mitchell, but no one and certainly not that woman should have gotten her hands on his old files. It was disturbing and not good at all. He was not very keen on anyone finding out his more than questionable and troubled youth.

Not that Evan was going to let Fields get to him. He was a soldier, a USAF pilot, he had been in Afghanistan and he had even been in Iraq before he was assigned to the SGC program, it would take a bit more than a few nasty words and wandering hands before he gave up.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

Evan was tired; he had not thought it would take this long or that it would take so much energy. It had started to darken outside, and a few lonely souls who had morning duty the next day had come back from the mainland while the rest would be staying the night at the Athosian settlement.

Even though it had been tiring Evan was reluctant to leave, having enjoyed his day with Rodney he did not want it to end, but he had no idea how to ask for the other man to stay without it sounding weird. Shifting from one foot to the other, while waiting for Rodney to put away the last off his stuff, meaning his computer which he had used to switch on all the cameras they had put up, Evan was spared from doing anything of the sort as Rodney spoke up.

"You know it's not too late and really I don't have anything else to do, as everyone are still on the mainland so I just thought… maybe you'd like to watch a movie with me? I mean if you don't have anything else to do."

Evan was pleasantly surprised by the question, it was not as if he had anything to do, and the fact that Rodney wanted to spend even more time with him even after almost seven hours together, made a very warm and fluffy feeling appear in his stomach.

"I'd love to, there is only so much work one can do in one day," said Evan hoping he did not sound too eager.

"Great! Do you've got any particular movie you want to watch?" asked Rodney.

"No, but I heard they got in that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer with the last Daedalus-run and I haven't had the chance to see it yet."

"Well I don't mind watching it, I haven't seen it either so why not."

"Your quarters, or mine?"

"Mine, I've got a TV screen I made myself so that I don't have to watch movies on my computer."

"Okay, just let me change my clothes to something more comfortable, meet you in fifteen?"

"Sounds good, I'll go see if there's still some food left, at least I'm starving."

"You're always starving, Doc."

"Shush you, you can't say Major that you're not hungry after not having eaten in about seven hours."

"Well I do feel a bit hungry, do you think they've still got some sandwiches left?"

"Probably," said Rodney with a nod, "well then, you go change and I'll get us something to eat, see you in fifteen then Major Lorne."

Smiling at Rodney, Evan did not say anything at the last statement, he was absolutely too happy. He was afraid that if he did open his mouth he would say or do something horrendously embarrassing, and that was not something Evan wanted.

Hurrying through the still empty corridors, it did not take long for Evan to get to his quarters. It did not take long for him to change from his BDUs to a pair of comfortable sweat pants and a t-shirt, shuffling through his clothes Evan even found a dark blue sweater to keep out the cold. It was loose on him, but as it had belonged to someone else before, someone who was broader over the shoulders than Evan, it was no surprise it was a bit big but he liked it. It covered him and it kept him warm that was what was important.

When he left for Rodney's quarters Evan got this really creepy feeling that someone was watching him, and the worst part of it was that he knew he was right. He had burned to his memory every single camera they had put up, and that meant he knew there was like two cameras only in this corridor where he had his quarters and that the corridor where Rodney had his quarters had two and a half camera.

Taking a deep breath Evan knocked on Rodney's door. It did not take many seconds after his fist had connected with the hard surface of the door for it to open.

"You didn't have to wait long, I hope?" asked Evan of Rodney when they were both inside and the door locked behind them.

"Yeah, I actually thought it would take you longer," said Rodney.

"Ah, honest as ever. Nah, I tried to be quick, I've really looked forward to seeing this movie," confessed Evan sheepishly.

"Good, I got us some sandwiches and they even had some popcorn to spare," said Rodney pointing at a bowl full of new made popcorn covered in butter.

They settled down in Rodney's sofa, the sandwiches disappearing fast. Evan had not felt hungry before, but when he took the first bite of his tuna sandwich it came crashing down on him.

"Major Lorne…" started Rodney but was interrupted by Evan.

"Evan, you don't have to call me Major when we're like this, I'm theoretically off duty so…"

"Oh, okay then you can call me Rodney, either way why aren't you being sarcastic? You haven't been near as sarcastic today as you usually is."

Evan wanted to laugh but smiled instead good-humoredly at Rodney.

"Do you want me to be sarcastic?"

"No, no it's just different from what I'm used to but in a good way."

"That's good… I think, right?"

"Yes _Evan_, it's good."

God, Evan loved the way Rodney said his name; it sent chills down his spine. If he could have his way then Rodney would never go back to calling him Major.

They had a relaxed evening, Evan could not remember when he had had this much fun. Even if every other conversation they had, was an argument, but it did not bother Evan. He could understand why Rodney and Colonel Sheppard were always "arguing" with each other. Not many really understood Evan's sarcasm, and it was nice to finally be able to talk with someone who was almost as sarcastic as himself.

They did not even notice how late it had gotten, between the popcorn and their talking, it was as if they were surrounded by a bubble, nothing mattered but the two of them. Evan had not felt so relaxed in a very long time, and it felt good. Sinking deeper into the sofa, Evan could have fallen asleep any moment, if it was not for the fact that he was hyper aware of Rodney sitting beside him.

"Tired?" asked Rodney.

"Yes, I had an early morning, what time is it?" Evan turned to face Rodney who was checking his watch.

"12.00 am." Exclaimed Rodney taking another look at his watch, "holy shit, I hadn't even noticed that it'd gotten this late."

"Neither had I," admitted Evan with a smile, "but don't they say that the time always fly by when you're having fun, right?"

"Huh…? Oh yeah you're right."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm totally fine," stammered Rodney trying to look everywhere else but at Evan, "I had fun, this was nice, you know, just relaxing the two of us…"

If this was a movie, and Evan the hero of it, then there would have been some kind of loud burst of music, with stars and fireworks. Not trying to hide his smile, Evan turned his hundred megawatt smile towards Rodney, who somehow seemed to completely have forgotten how to breathe, his mouth falling open. He was totally frozen to his seat, unable to look away from Evan.

"I liked it too, maybe...," started Evan but cut himself off before he said something he should not.

"Maybe what?"

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"Oh come on, Evan you can tell me!"

"I just thought, you know we could do it again…"

"W-would you like that?"

"Well yeah, I'd like it."

Silence crept onto them, neither knowing what to say or how to proceed. Evan had never thought Rodney would be interested in him, but somehow this evening had given him some hope and he hoped and prayed to God that he was not reading the signs wrong. He was not sure he would be able to cope with that.

"Then… maybe we could do this the day after tomorrow? Or do you have work?"

"No I don't, it's my official day off so I'm free for the whole evening."

"Good, good. Then I'll see you then at the latest," said Rodney.

Both of them stood up, it was time to retreat and get some shut eye, before the next day's chaos would begin. Bidding Rodney goodnight, Evan walked back to his own quarter's, his faced as calm as usual, nothing in his manners could have given away what had happened inside Rodney's sleeping quarters but if you watched good enough you could have seen a small swagger to his step that had not been there earlier.

* * *

Please Review and tell me what you thought! :)


	6. Chapter 6

V.

JOHN

Had it not been for Teyla and her very amazing skills of calming him down then John was sure he would already have slaughtered Fields. There was absolutely nothing positive to say about the man, he was rude, obnoxious, pompous and arrogant. To sum it up, Norman Fields was, in John's eyes a self-loving, annoying, slimy jackass.  
Usually John did not put much time on reflecting over Fields but for the past week or two he had noticed a change in Fields way of dealing with Evan. Speaking of his XO, John had noticed a change there too, not a big one mind you, it was very small but John, who had been working for almost five years very closely with the man, noticed it.

There was a small spring to Evan's steps when he walked but on the same time he seemed distracted, especially when Fields was close by.  
It was worrying to say the least. Not that he had had that much time to think about it, everyone were kept busy with the small wraith attack that took place in the beginning of the week, they had been lucky it was only a few wraith and that no one died. And of course, Fields had a lot to say about the attack, he did not even bother to thank  
Sergeant Roberts for saving his life.

No, if John would get to choose then he would just wrap his hands around Fields' neck and squeeze until the bother of a man was dead, but he had promised Cam to play nice, and he would try to the best of his abilities to keep it. Even if it meant spending an extra hour in the training room getting his ass kicked by Ronon or Teyla, depending on which one of them had the time. This of course resulted in him looking like one big bruise but in the end it was worth it, after all it meant he felt more relaxed and clearheaded when he was done.

It was of course not even near as effective as when he could just curl up beside Cam, not needing to worry about anything. John scowled when he thought of Fields last attempt at gathering "information", forcing Rodney to put up those cameras, the worst part was that the only one who had access to them was Fields.  
The infuriating man had made sure Rodney connected them with his computer making sure, in a very efficient way that no one else would get their hands on them, meaning anything slightly odd going on could be used as ammunition.

John would be lying if he said he was not worried about it, but he was mostly just mad. Everyone had their right to privacy and Fields was denying them their most basic right when he had those cameras brought to Atlantis.

Rolling around on his bed, John could not find a comfortable sleeping position. He had been lying awake for about two hours now, thinking and rethinking about things, and the longer he lay there awake the harder it got for him to fall asleep.

Usually when he and Cam slept together there was not very much space to move around on, but now lying there alone in the bed, John suddenly had more room than he knew what to do with it. If anyone asked then he would deny it completely but there, alone in his bed in the middle of the night when most people were already deep inside the dreamland, John could admit that he missed his lover or boyfriend. He was not really sure what he was supposed to call Cam, but he liked to think about the other man as his boyfriend. It was somehow more permanent more real than the word lover.

Twirling round in his chair, John tried to rein in his thoughts before his meeting with Fields and Lorne. Cam would not be present as it only was a small meeting about recourses, or if you read between the lines, Fields was not satisfied with the reports and just wanted to whine and have something to write up and take up John's and Evan's time.

John could think of about a hundred different things to do, a hundred things more important that having this meeting, going through reports explaining that they are right and properly filled. It would be a nightmare; at least he would not have to deal with Fields alone. That would just have been too cruel.

"So gentlemen let's begin," drawled Fields whilst watching John and Evan with his pig eyes, "even if the two of you don't have anything important to do, but I do."

Biting his tongue hard, John exchanged a small look with his SIC before he sat down in the chair opposite of Fields. All the papers were already spread out on the table, and it was not just a small pile but a huge mountain of papers. Just the thought of the amount of time it would take to go through it all made John want to go out and give himself up to the first wraith that crossed his path.

"Then let us not waste your time, Mr. Fields after all we all know those files are legal and properly completed," said Evan from his seat beside John.

John was not sure but there was something that changed in Fields' eyes, no his whole demeanor changed when Evan spoke, it was creepy and not just a little bit alarming. It reminded him a bit of some old pervert staring at an innocent young girl or well boy in this case, wanting to do stuff that never would be legal.

"Oh no, Major Lorne this needs to be done, we wouldn't want to send back half-finished papers, now would we? This can only be done one way, I'm afraid that pretty mouth of yours isn't going to be of any help here."

What was worst with Fields leering at Evan was that the Major seemed totally unfazed by it. There was not even the slightest of hint that he felt uncomfortable by it that John almost thought his SIC had not noticed it. Not that it was possible, Evan always noticed even the smallest of things, in that way he was almost as in tune with his surroundings as Ronon was, it was totally impossible to sneak up on either of the men.

"Shall we begin then? I don't want this to take up more time than necessary," said John cutting off whatever Fields was going to say next. Ignoring the fiery glare directed at him, John started to organize the reports in a chronological order.

Whatever it was that Fields was going to say could not have been very important as he never said it in the end, not that John cared, it was better this way. Forcing his hands to stay on the table instead of slowly drifting to his temples was harder than he had anticipated not that he really had anything to be annoyed about. If anyone had the right to complain it would have been Major Lorne.

Yes, John had noticed how Fields had acted lately towards Evan but to see it with his own two goddamn eyes, only a table apart from him was a completely different thing. Biting his tongue, John cleared his throat loudly successfully distracting Fields from continuing his not so subtle verbal attacking of Evan.

"Well Mr. Fields if you've got time to stop your people bashing for a moment then maybe we'd actually get this done before tomorrow," pointed John out drily.

They had been sitting in the conference room for almost three hours now and they still had a lot to go through. Evan shifted in his seat beside him and sat up straighter nodding his head but not saying anything. He had actually been unusually quiet the whole time noted John to himself. Patting Evan's leg under the table, John gave his SIC a supportive glance; they would get through this torture together.

And so John for the rest of the four hours they kept on working, every time Fields strayed into one of his tirades John would clear his throat or just rudely interrupt. Not that anyone would have ever blamed him for it, except for maybe Fields himself, because no one could be expected to endure seven hours of listening to "But Major I thought that would be exactly _up_ your alley" and "Really? And here I thought you _liked_ serving other people for _money_".

Where Fields got these quirks from John had no idea, but the way Fields said them and the words he put a strain on John was not sure he wanted to know. He had never heard or seen any indications that Evan would be gay and the Major had certainly never said anything himself to indicate that he would be anything else but straight, but it was hard to know with the younger man. Not that it mattered, they protected their own on Atlantis and Evan was a bit more than one of them, he was probably the most well liked person in the whole city.

John did not say anything for a long time after Fields had left the room and instead concentrated on the papers. It was not before Evan started to rise from his chair, collecting all the papers and things from the table that John snapped out of his small daze.

"What he said… is it true?"

John did not look at Evan and Evan did not turn around to face him either. It was somewhat surrealistic but on the same time it was probably the most personal they had ever gotten with each other. Both enjoying and working hard to keep their private lives private or as private as one could in a place like Atlantis.

"Does it make a difference for you?"

"No, not really you're a friend a good one and I value you a hundred times more than Fields."

"Thank you."

"I… I just want you to know that whatever Fields decides to throw at you I'm here for you okay, I need you God knows Atlantis would not be standing anymore if it wasn't for you and that is something I can say for every single person living here."

"I appreciate that." Turning around Evan smiled at John, "thank you sir."

It was as if his body or well his face reacted naturally to the smile he was receiving from his XO, even though it was a bit uncertain in that typically uncomfortable way John always managed when he was supposed to show some more emotions, but it was still a smile.

Snapping out of whatever it was that kept him, John went back to work. Even though they did not do any more gate travelling than necessary there was still a lot to be done concerning it, there were old reports to go through, old trades to go over, find new possible trading goods etc.

Nothing much happened for the rest of the day. In fact, if it was not for the fact that the clock showed how the time moved forward then John could have sworn that it stood still. It was as if a snail was dragging it forward not going anywhere, at least not in a pace that satisfied him. Finally when the clock struck ten John stood up from his chair in his office ready to call it a day. He had only left the office for dinner a few hours ago and did not feel for anything more than a coffee and that did not take too long to acquire. With his coffee in one hand John navigated the half-full corridors back to his quarters. Grinding his teeth together John felt like a rat in a maze when he walked. Everywhere he went, it did not matter in which corridor or which transporter he took there was always a camera lurking around, staring after him as if he was a criminal.

Looking around at the other people moving around Atlantis was also very conscious of the fact that they were not alone. "Big Brother sees you" was a very good way to describe the situation somehow.

Finally getting to his room John found himself sitting on his bed coffee still in his hand sipping slowly from the mug. It was lonely.

"Jesus Sheppard, get a grip! You've been alone before there's nothing extra about it now," reprimanded John himself but he could not shake the feeling that was growing inside of him.

After having spent a good hour just sitting and doing nothing, John decided it was better to go to sleep, at least then he would be doing something worthwhile.  
Showering and brushing his teeth did not take long and before he had time to register it, John found himself lying in bed tossing and turning because he could not fall asleep. It was annoying and frustrating and he had no idea what to do with himself if he kept this up.

Getting up John rifled through his closet, smiling victoriously John pulled out a pillow from the far back. Hugging it close to his chest, he could smell the faint fragrance of Cam on it. He had nicked it from Cam two days after Fields had arrived, finding it much easier to fall asleep when he had something which reminded him of his lover close, especially as the first pillow he had taken with him had somehow ended up in the washing machine and so did not have the right smell anymore.

This time around it was much easier for him to find a comfortable position, burying his head in the pillow John fell asleep, dreaming of blue eyes and a very sexy southern accent.

FIELDS

Ever since he had had his small talk with Fiona and he had gotten his cameras, things had started to look a bit brighter for him. He had never thought the cameras would work so well, he could practically see everything that went to inside of Atlantis except for the inside of peoples' private quarters. The only thing he regretted was that he did not get microphones so that he could hear what was being said, because people were very reserved when they spoke with him and when he walked past people in the corridor usually as conversation ceased until he had passed.

Searching for a certain member of the military staff on the cameras Norman zoomed in and gave a satisfied grunt when he found Major Lorne on one of the screens. The Major was in one of the work-out rooms, only wearing a pair of loose fitting pants sweat rolling down in back when he moved.

Norman groaned and let his hand fall into his lap, palming his hardening cock through his pants. His eyes were fixated on the moving form on the screen. Oh how he just wanted to force the major down on his knees. Opening the zipper to his pants, Norman pulled out his cock fantasizing about how it would feel having Lorne's mouth around it, hot and wet. Just thinking about it made him come, shooting his load all over the screen.

It annoyed him that this was the only way he could have the major, every time he got the shorter man pushed into a corner or alone then the goddamn man would somehow slink away or someone would interrupt them. So far he had only managed to get in a few grabs and it did not give him much satisfaction, although it did make his desire burn hotter. He did not care a flying fuck whether Lorne wanted it or not, he was going to have the man it was practically set in stone.

"Soon, very soon I'll have you exactly where I want you and I promise you'll like it you little whore," smirked Norman.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

Angry glares directed at the floor muddled with worried ones and even maybe a bit scared and apprehensive ones surrounded Norman. The defeated feeling of people who had rendered themselves to their fates was a glorious sensation, it was power. Power was the only thing he cared about, power was sweet, and he craved the power like a man in the desert craves for water.

A smirk crawled onto his face when he saw the familiar shape of the man who had been occupying his thoughts for a while now. Lorne really was a good looking fellow; Norman would make sure he wiped that smile of the major's face. There was a stupid rumor going around that even Buddha would get pissed off faster than Lorne that damn hero worship in their eyes when they talked about it pissed him off, but Fields did not believe it, he would make the man lose it and he would win showing the rest of the lunatics on Atlantis who was in charge, he could do whatever he wanted with them.

Looking around, Norman noted happily that Lorne was stepping into one of the armories probably to do his weekly check-up on their recourses for the next Daedalus run. Waiting for a moment Norman followed Lorne, opening the door and locking it, for once happy that they made no sound. He groaned low in his throat when he watched that ass just begging to be fucked. Even though the sound was low, Lorne heard and whipped around, it irked Norman that there was absolutely no other reaction from the man.

"Mr. Fields," greeted Lorne and Norman dreamed that there was a small hint of uncertainty in the shorter man's voice.

"Major Lorne," drawled Norman and took a step closer his 'prize', "what a surprise to see you here."

He was being sarcastic and they both knew it. Taking another step forward happy to note that Major Lorne took a very small step backwards, unfortunately for him there was only a wall to back into. With all the crates filled with C-4 and other explosives and ammo stacked high, there was no room for Lorne to move around much from where he was standing.

Taking another step, brought Norman even closer to Lorne, now there was barely an arm's length between them. Taking a last step forward brought Norman so close that they were touching each other, there was nowhere for the major to run now. Grabbing Lorne by the arm, Norman felt himself get hard and by the small flicker of Lorne's eyes he had noticed it too.

"Feel that? Do you?" whispered Norman maliciously.

"This… this is inappropriate… sir…"

"Oh please as if anyone would believe you after they find out about your more than colorful past," murmured Norman trying to kiss Lorne who turned away his face.

It was a real struggle for Norman trying to keep Lorne in place; the man was wriggling and trying to get away. Grabbing the major around the middle, Norman somehow got the upper hand in the struggle his hands roaming over the lithe body. Using the momentum to his own advantage, Norman threw Lorne so that the man was bent over one of the big boxes using his left hand to force the major's head face first into the wood. It was a constant struggle to stay in control, he had not expected the smaller body of the major to contain such strength (then again, Norman had no idea that Lorne had even bested Ronon once or twice when they sparred, he was not one to play with).

What happened next should not have happened, Norman relaxed so much that he let out his breath once and suddenly he was no longer in control and he was pushed against the wall and away from Lorne who was out the door before Norman even had had the chance to comprehend what just had happened. He got his air knocked out from him in the process. When he got his bearing back, Norman swore at the open door and the clear absence of Major Lorne.

Making sure that no one had noticed him, Norman walked back to his quarters. He had a lot to think about, the more the major had struggle underneath him, the more turned on he had become. But as his Grandmother used to tell him when he was younger, good things come to those who wait and Norman was certain he would get what he wanted. The more Major Lorne tried to resist, the sweeter would Norman's victory taste.

Oh yes, breaking these people was so much fun, and after he was done with the major then he would deal with the pest named Sheppard. Why the infuriating man had not been given a dishonorable discharge for his actions in Afghanistan was something Norman could not wrap his mind around and then the fact that Sheppard had been given command of Atlantis was even more of a mystery. No one in their right minds would have done it, then again, O'Neill was exactly the same way, both men should have been taken care of a long time ago, regardless how "good" they were. He, Norman Fields would make sure Lt. Colonel John Sheppard never would get his own command again, preferably a damp cell somewhere in Guantanamo or Area 51.

* * *

Reviews?


	7. Chapter 7

VI.

CAMERON

A month and almost two weeks had passed since Norman Fields had arrived on Atlantis, turning everything upside down. That also meant it was almost a month and a week since Cam had last held John, ever since Fields had had those cameras installed and the curfew put in place, finding a moment alone with his lover had gotten harder and harder. The itch he had felt in the beginning had left for a while but about two days ago it had come back with a vengeance, itchier than ever and Cam had no way of dealing with it. It made it very hard for him to concentrate on anything, especially when he was in the same room as John.

That was why he had come up with a plan; the problem was just that there were so many things that could go wrong. What the plan relied on was the dedication and the devotion the members of the Atlantis expedition had for each other and their loyalty towards him and John, after all it was not the best kept secret that they were a couple. Which was why he was on the way to talk with Rodney, if he wanted this plan to work he needed the genius' help. If everything went right then Fields would not be any wiser about what would play out among the inhabitants on Atlantis. Cam was actually kind of proud of himself for coming up with this small plan.

From what he had been observing, Cam was not the only one in need of a small break. He had run into a somewhat stressed out looking Major Lorne two days ago who when confronted about it had just brushed it off in his normally calm manner. Later when Cam had discreetly asked John about it in the mess-hall, his lover had looked a bit uncomfortable and said he had noticed the same thing but there was not much they could do about it, especially with Fields having eyes and probably ears too, scattered all over the city.

"Ah Doctor Zelenka! Is McKay around?"

"Just follow the shouts of fear and panic," was the tired answer.

Cam patted Zelenka on the shoulder and gave the Doctor an encouraging smile but did not stay to chat. Instead he did as he was advised; when he arrived Cam could not help but grin at what he saw. McKay really had a way with his "minions" because that was what the other scientists were. Taking pity on the poor souls looking like they were about to burst into hysterical sobs, Cam cleared his throat.

"McKay, may I have a word with you in private?"

"Can it wait? I'm a bit busy fixing a mistake my _stupid_ minions made which by the way not even my niece whose like seven wouldn't have done!"

"No, I need to speak with you right now."

There was a moment of silence before McKay shouted a agitated "Fine!"

Cam was shooed into a small office, which he had never known existed. McKay was muttering the whole time between sipping on his coffee.

"So what's so important that you could not say out there?"

"I need your help with a little something," said Cam with a smirk.

He knew half the battle was already won, and he was even surer that when McKay heard what the plan entailed then he would be onboard.

"And what is it you need my help with?"

"No one can hear us?"

"Nope, Asgard tech."

"Good."

"Just spit it out, Commander! I don't have all day!"

"Well hypothetically if I wanted to spend an evening with someone in my quarters without Fields finding out… Those cameras are so all seeing…"

Cam watched how McKay's facial expression went from not so impressed to something better described as 'the cat ate the canary'.

"Well… hypothetically speaking Commander as the highest authority on Atlantis it's your duty to make sure we take every precaution against intruders here on Atlantis so that the people here are safe, you could say it's a recurring thing because of the few ZPM's and because we let the systems 'rest'," said McKay.

"As we're speaking hypothetically here Doctor… if I asked you to do this would you oblige, I mean it's very important that our systems work and that out ZPM's have enough power to sustain us," commented Cam offhandedly.

"Well of course I would, it's my job as first scientist to make sure everything about Atlantis is whole and working, after all."

"Good, good, how fast could you do it?"

"Commander you're talking to a genius here, tomorrow then there's enough time to set it up and fool that slime ball Fields."

"Well then Doctor, I'll leave you to it." And with those words Cam left McKay to sort out some small details.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS  
**

Cam had to raise his hat for McKay, the man was really good. In under about two hours after his small chat with the PhD Doctor, there was an email in his inbox, which had been sent to everyone on Atlantis, telling the inhabitants of the power down that they would have the following day or more accurately evening. Reading between the lines told Cam more than any word in the email did and he knew that by the day was over everyone except for Fields would know to play their part in this small scheme.

He would not be surprised if Field demanded they have some meeting about this, as no one had ever talked about it before, but Cam was sure that, at least he hoped, it would go well. Cam had barely read the message and logged out when his earpiece buzzed.

"Mitchell."

"Of course, I'll be there in five."

"This'll be interesting…" murmured Cam heading for the conference room.

On his way for this last minute meeting set up by and angry Fields, Cam almost walked straight into Lorne who was heading in the same direction. They was almost there when Lorne spoke.

"I must admit I didn't expect that email, sir." AKA. _That's an interesting plan, sir._

"It came a bit fast but Doctor McKay assured me it's better to do it now." _Thanks Major, I just hope it'll go down right.  
_  
"Don't you worry about it sir, everyone are ready for it." _Don't worry sir, no one likes Fields here and they're all loyal to you and what better way to stick it to the creep than by doing this?  
_  
"Yeah you're right Major."

"Of course I am sir, am I not always?"

"Well I can't deny that."

They shared a laugh but stopped when they arrived by the big doors leading in to the conference room, schooling their features the two men stepped inside. Fields, McKay and John were already there. Doctor Keller was not far behind him and Lorne, not being able to leave a patient just like that.

Fields looked so angry that Cam was just waiting for the steam to start pouring out from the man's ears, everyone else were looking neutral. Cam knew that his plan had a few flaws and this was one of them, him and McKay being the only ones who actually knew exactly what was going on, why and when meant that if Fields targeted someone else in the room, then there could be some problems, maybe.

"What is this? Why have I not heard of it before?" asked Fields in a loud voice.

"Because you haven't been here before when we've done it," said McKay sounding bored, "either way I sent you an email like everyone else and even the papers that explains why we're doing this, that should be enough for you or do you want to die?"

"You sent me a hundred and eighty-seven pages of mumbo jumbo!" almost shouted Fields waiving a thick folder filled with papers.

"Oh come on, it's not that hard to understand, and it's not mumbo jumbo!"

Cam took the folder from Fields and looked it through and he had admit he could not have done it better himself, he barely understood every sixth word and even that was debatable. There was no way Fields was able to understand any of it, especially when there were passages written in the Ancients' language. No one else had yet said anything.

"Well let me enlighten you then, Mr. Fields. We do this because it keeps the systems in control and makes it possible for us to find hackers or other problems, it's easier to do it at night because everyone will be in their own quarters so no one will care that their doors are locked and that there's no light or running water, you like everyone else will follow procedure which means that by ten you'll be in your quarters when the shield will be activated and all doors will be locked, the systems shut down etc. and you won't leave before the door's lock is opened from the outside meaning everything is back on and running again."

Fields looked ready to explode but did nothing. Looking around the room, blue eyes met green ones. Cam could not wait for tomorrow, he needed it so bad, he needed to touch and feel and taste his lover. Suddenly the room seemed very hot, and Cam forced himself not to yank at his collar, and instead refocused on the IOA member in the room. Lorne and Keller was not saying much, both standing quietly on the side following the exchange.

"So are we done? I unlike some people in this room actually have work to do," huffed McKay with his nose in the air.

"Yes, we're done," growled Fields through clenched teeth not looking or sounding very pleased.

Cam sent an appreciative nod towards McKay who looked very proud indeed of himself. Fields did not stay around to chat and stormed out from the room, he had lost this round and he knew it. Everyone in the room knew it and that was what made Cam's victory even better. Even if it really would have felt good to rub it into Fields' face, Cam held himself; nothing good would come out of that temptation, at least not in the long run.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

If Cam had thought he felt itchy before then it was nothing compared to what he was feeling right now. It was as if the knowledge that things were finally happening was making things worse. He felt almost as nervous and exited as the first time he and John had had sex.

Staring at the clock, Cam felt like shooting something preferably some_one, _it was only a quarter past twelve and he was already having a hard time concentrating. This was not going to be an easy day, not at all. When they had announced what would happen the evening before, that the every now and then "occurring, energy counting" was once again to be held, a certain hope spread throughout the city. This was like a miracle from above, showing that they were not quite yet ready to bow down before the likes of Norman Fields.

Cam kept daydreaming for most of the day, once in a while shuffling through his papers trying to look like he was working if someone came knocking on his door. Not that anyone would have cared either way, it was not so much of a secret that it was Major Lorne that made sure all the important papers were signed, which meant that all urgent papers that Cam or John signed all came from Major Lorne who had put them in a file apart from the rest of the not so important papers. It was kind of nice not having to sort through the huge piles of paper that ended up in his office, but on the same time Cam felt a bit bad knowing that when his desk was empty when Lorne's desk and office was overflowing with paper. Not that one ever noticed, the man really knew how to keep things tidy, maybe he could ask the Major for some tips later on.

Taking at least five extra coffee pauses over the course of four hours, when nine o'clock rolled in, Cam was ready to get the hell out of his office and have a relaxing evening. With all the coffee he had been drinking he felt a bit more awake than normally as he usually kept himself from drinking more than seven cups a day, not wanting to end up like most of the scientists and even some of the soldiers who practically lived on the bitter liquid.

Walking from his office to his quarters, Cam watched the people under his command. There was a certain excitement in the air; everyone knew what was going on and the stakes. If they got caught there would be no mercy, everyone would be in the line of fire. Some hid their feelings better than others, whispers and laughter spread all over Atlantis, no one would let this opportunity slip through their fingers.

Cam wondered absentmindedly whether they would have any lube left in the city after this evening, it would be a bit embarrassing trying to explain to Caldwell why they wanted to bring a few hundred bottles of lube from earth to Atlantis, the organic lube that Parrish and his colleague had managed to create was good but it was a so called limited edition as you could not make much of it in one go. No Cam was sure that would not fly with the people on earth or Caldwell, how Lorne had gotten four big boxes with lube smuggled with the Daedalus was still mystery to Cam and everyone else on the base. And if they were to go by Lorne's secretive smile every time someone asked or hinted about it, then it would also stay a secret.

Because if there was one thing most people on Atlantis knew about Major Lorne, then that was that the man knew how to keep a secret he was better at keeping his private life private than even John and that said a lot about the man. He probably had more secrets than half of Atlantis' population put together, not much was known about the major that was not work related. This was of course one of the reasons a lot of people found themselves intrigued and fascinated by the "mysterious" Major Lorne.

Of course Cam would love to find out more what made Lorne tick, but on the same time he had his own mystery to solve, called John Sheppard. O'Neill had really made a fantastic job in finding the two most private and crazy people but still competent enough to run Atlantis. Then again, somehow Cam always fancied that there was something more than John's ATA gene and Lorne's good reputation that got them both shipped to the Pegasus Galaxy, both personally vouched for by General Jack O'Neill. Not that there was an overly big chance that he would ever find out what that little piece of information was.

Cam sat down with a sigh on his bed, forty-five minutes left before he would once again be able to hold his lover. Never before had Cam had a problem with waiting, he maybe did not always like it but it had not bothered him, but right now he wished for nothing more than to be able to move the time forward. Sitting there on the bed waiting, Cam thought he would drive himself crazy counting the minutes that passed.

He was not sure if he had somehow fallen asleep sitting up or just hypnotized himself into a, some sort of daze but suddenly when he came back to the land of the living, the clock was ten. In a matter of minutes everyone would be locked in, with only the shield to protect them if someone decided to attack. It was as if he was sitting on pins and needles, and then the door to his quarters slid open and closed. Just because Cam did not hear John did not mean that the other man was not in the room, he had really honed his John-radar whilst working on Atlantis. Then again with the amount of people being able to sneak up on his aka, Teyla, Ronon, Lorne, Jinto when the kid wanted to be sneaky and a whole heap of other people so it was good that he at least could sense one of them.

Cam felt how the bed dipped behind him and then there was a pair of arms around his neck, a body pressed to his back. It felt nice, and for a moment neither one of them spoke or did anything and instead just enjoyed the moment. A small sound rang through Atlantis just at that moment, and then everything went dark. It was an odd feeling; usually there was the sounds of the air conditioner, or the transporters, or the buzz of the computers but when all of it was cut, the only sound Cam could hear was his own and John's steady breathing.

"Wow, I really didn't think the change would be so distinct…" whispered John.

"Yeah, but it's peaceful in a way," said Cam speaking in a low voice.

"Mmm…" mumbled John nuzzling Cam's neck.

It felt nice, it was a normal occurrence before Fields John would cuddle up or lean against Cam burying his nose on the crook of Cam's neck. To be able to have this familiarity and intimate moment back, even if it was just for a short while it meant a lot to Cam.

"You smell like coffee." Cam laughed at John's comment.

"I wouldn't be surprised; I've probably drunk more coffee than McKay today."

Manhandling John from where he was sitting behind Cam to so that they were sitting side by side, Cam enjoyed the closeness. Sneaking an arm around John's waist, Cam pulled them both down so that they were lying on their backs on the bed. Like this, it was easier for him to roll over so that he was on top of John, leaning down to capture John's mouth in a hot kiss. Yeah, it had absolutely been too long, Cam decided as he almost became instantly hard when they kissed. Not that he was the only one; he could feel John's hardness pushing against him as his laid between his partners legs.

Grinding down, the only response Cam got was a low moan. It was as if someone had touched a light switch, Cam was sure he had never gotten faster out of his clothes as he did now, or that he had ever seen someone else slip out of theirs in the time John did. Cam bit back a moan, but could not help but draw a deep breath when he watched the dark haired man on the bed. John was gorgeous; everything from his dark tousled hair to his perfectly sculptured body was perfect, just the sight and the knowledge that all of it was his, made Cam hard.

It was dark in the room, the only light coming from one of the moons outside, Cam was glad he did not need to see John to feel him. Running his hands up and down John's torso, Cam pulled John into another heated kiss. They were slowly rocking against each other, their cocks touching, and the pre-cum smearing over their stomachs. Cam reached for the lube in the top drawer of his nightstand where he had put the tube to be easily accessed; for once he was happy he and John had decided to skip the condoms. It had been an easy decision, they had both gotten tested, not that the chance that John would have had anything had been big as he had not had "real" sex with anyone since he arrived on Atlantis, and as they had been monogamous and neither one of them slept around made things so much easier for them. First of all they did not have to worry about getting condoms and for the second they did not have to worry about getting them smuggled into Atlantis which was the hardest part and for the third now he did not have to fiddle with the small packages in the dark.

Coating his index finger with a generous amount of lube, Cam pushed it inside his dark haired lover. He moved it in and out a few times before he added another finger, moaning at the tightness surrounding them. Pushing in a third finger, Cam brushed them over John's prostate making John moan and writhe underneath him. Even though he just wanted to bury his cock deep into John's ass and fuck the man senselessly, Cam forced himself to take it slow. Biting down on John's right nipple, Cam kept up a steady rhythm with his hand letting his fingers pump in and out once in a while touching John's prostrate making the man moan. Cam could feel John pushing up against him, trying to create more friction between them but Cam used his bigger body to his advantage keeping his lover in place.

"Cam…" moaned John, low in his throat." Don't tease me…"

"Am I teasing you? My poor baby… you want me to fuck you, hard and long until you can't think straight," whispered Cam huskily breathing puffs of breath into John's ear.

His left hand, not occupied and covered in lube, was moving up over John's chest and all the way over his torso and down his hip only to move all the way up again. Cam could feel how close to the edge John was, his breath was ragged, his pupils were blown and he was making small needy noises in the back of his throat. Taking pity on John (and himself) Cam reached once again for the bottle of lube, this time smearing it over his own cock which was standing to attention pre-cum leaking from the tip.

Cam let out a groan when he felt his cock sink deep into John's tight ass, just the feeling of being totally surrounded by that wet closeness almost made him come. He waited until he felt John relax and then he started to move, first slowly but after a while faster and faster. Capturing John's lips, Cam groaned when he felt John suck on his lower lip, it did not take much before he felt that familiar tingling feeling in his lower back.

"Oh yes baby you feel so good, so hot and tight," groaned Cam his hand closing around John's erected cock.

"Cam… I… I'm coming!"

Cam buried himself as far as he could into John's ass just as he came, shooting his load inside of his lover. John came a millisecond later, shooting his load all over Cam's chest and stomach. Cam did not care about the sticky white seed as he slumped down on top of John, breathing hard. He was seeing stars; he had not had an orgasm like that in some time.

"Jesus…"

"Couldn't agree more," panted Cam.

For a moment Cam did not move, enjoying the feeling of lying on top of John but he had to move. Pulling out Cam rolled onto his side, his arms around John so that he was spooning up behind his lover. He did not care that they should probably wash up and change the sheets that they could do tomorrow. Right now he only wanted to hold his lover close and forget everything else but the amazing sex they just had had. Pressing a soft kiss to John's neck Cam fell asleep, cherishing the fact that he was not alone and that John was there with him in the bed.

RODNEY

When the Commander departed and Rodney was left alone in the small and cramped office, he was not sure what to do. Yes, the commander had sounded serious and Rodney actually had to admit that it was a very sneaky plan. In the end after fifteen minutes of much thinking, Rodney decided that Mitchell had been serious and that this small plan would be executed in some way with or without Rodney's help, and so went in search of his apprentice.

Sage Warner was one of the newest people working with Rodney and one of the few ones he could stand. When she had graduated four years ago and her thesis had been published Rodney had been very impressed and after meeting her when he was speaking at some science convention, he had offered her a job with the SGC in Atlantis. She had of course happily accepted and so far Rodney had not regretted his choice. She was brilliant, of course not as smart as him but close, in a way she was a bit like Sheppard, an acquired taste that you had to get used to. Not that he minded she was one of the few that did not mess up all the time too badly and she could hold her own in a verbal fight and not back down or break down crying.

"Sage!"

"Yes Boss?"

And of course it did not take away any points that she had taken to calling him Boss. Which no one else did so it was always easy to tell when she was the one speaking to him.

"I need you to do something for me," said Rodney when he sat down in the chair beside her.

"Of course Boss, what is it?"

"I need you to write a very long with many abstract words essay on why we once in a while have to turn off all the electricity and energy in the city to make sure there are no intruders and to keep our ZPMs working, ok?"

"But Boss we don't… OH, oh _I see_," breathed Sage, grinning wickedly, "so whose idea was it?"

Rodney watched as she turned to her computer, and immediately started to write. This was also one of the reasons why he liked her, she was fast on the uptake and very dedicated, then again she absolutely hated Fields, and had used some very colorful language to describe him, they had been lucky that Fields had not been around to hear it or else she would be back on earth already.

"It was actually the Commanders idea," admitted Rodney.

"Whoa, the Big Boss is getting antsy, not that he's the only one and then again, if I was the one dating Colonel Sheppard I'd have broken a long time ago, that man's a major hottie," said Sage dreamily.

"Sage…"

"What it's true! Colonel Sheppard is like super hot! If he wasn't taken by Commander Mitchell, then I'd so totally have made my move already."

"I can imagine that…"

"Come on, we can't all have our own super sexy Major to keep us company, speaking of Majors, I haven't seen Major Lorne in some time, is he okay?"

"Why do you ask me that? And he's not my super sexy Major."

"Oh come on Boss, like I don't know that the two of you've been spending a lot of time together."

"We've watched a few movies and eaten twice together in the mess hall, that's not a lot!"

"Uuhh, you're getting defensive. Come on, it's obvious that you like him, you _love_ him, and he likes you too, or else he would have killed you already."

"I'm not talking with you about this, just write the text, I've got things to do."

"Boss seriously, open your eyes, he always smiles when he sees you then again he does smile at everyone, either way, he want to spend time with you, how much more evidence do you need? Why don't you take your chance while you have it, it's not as if anyone will know you snuck into his quarters, I mean Major Lorne and Colonel Sheppard have quarters separated from everyone else and Colonel Sheppard will be too busy in Mitchell's quarters which also are separated from the rest so no one will know about it!"

"And what if he doesn't like me back? Have you thought about that?" asked Rodney his frustration clearly showing.

"Not possible, believe me for once Boss, don't let this great opportunity slip through your fingers because you're scared, he's probably scared and unsure too, you've got nothing to lose."

"Okay enough! just make sure you get that done as fast as possible and print it out for me okay, I've got some things to get fixed, why don't you debrief the rest of the hooligans."

"Of course Boss, many big words, I'm an expert on saying a lot whilst saying nothing!"

"I know that's why I asked you to do it."

"Have a nice day Boss, and don't chicken out!"

Rodney did not even dignify her last sentence with an answer. He knew she was right but on the same time there was this small nagging feeling in the back of his mind that always surfaced when he thought he liked someone and so far that nagging feeling had been right, no one liked him enough to stay for a longer time. Keller, Brown everyone had always left him in the end because he was too insensitive or too brash or too much himself and that was not love. Because if there was one thing Rodney knew and had taken to his heart when he was younger and spent some time with his mother, that was if you loved someone then you accepted both the bad and the good in that person.

Shaking away the distracting thoughts, Rodney got to work. First he hacked into the Atlantis computers, then again that was not hard as he did it every other day and no one cared because he was the one who had made the new system and he was usually the one who over rode it under rode it and middle rode the programs to fix it or to do something else. When he was inside, Rodney continued to make fake records of this happening before; he made sure to put in about four or five every year at a time just to be sure if Fields decided to take a look. When that was done, he typed up a short note which he sent out to everyone on the base, attaching a small extra note to a few people, knowing it would spread faster this way the real message to everyone else but Fields.

Rodney had to admit that he was very proud of himself, in about two hours he had most things fixed and done. Of course, there were a few things that needed to be done but it would not take too much time or effort on his part. Now he just hoped Mitchell would take care of the rest, meaning Fields who surely would have something to say about this. Rodney just did not have the patience.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS  
**

"You sent me a hundred and eighty-seven pages of mumbo jumbo!" almost shouted Fields waiving a thick folder filled with papers.

It really was a struggle for Rodney to not break out in song, Fields had no idea what was going on his comment had been like a declaration of stupidity. Sage was really good when she told him she was ready and that she had made it as long as possible, he had thought something around maybe fifty pages, not a hundred and eighty-seven pages, she was a god sent. Gathering himself, Rodney hoped that no one had noticed his small celebration in his head and instead of smiling let a small sneer cover his features turning his nose up in the air.**  
**  
"Oh come on, it's not that hard to understand, and it's not mumbo jumbo!" Yes it was but he was not going to tell Fields that now was he?

Taking a deep breath, Rodney mentally prepared himself for a rant; thank god he did this so often so he did it almost without thinking when he started. It was as if his mouth was disconnected from his brain, he just spoke and spoke and spoke, trying to sound as nasty as possible, knowing Fields would not like it but would not be able to do anything about it.

"Well let me enlighten you then, Mr. Fields. We do this because it keeps the systems in control and makes it possible for us to find hackers or other problems, it's easier to do it at night because everyone will be in their own quarters so no one will care that their doors are locked and that there's no light or running water, you like everyone else will follow procedure which means that by ten you'll be in your quarters when the shield will be activated and all doors will be locked, the systems shut down etc. and you won't leave before the door's lock is opened from the outside meaning everything is back on and running again."

Rodney had to take a few calming breaths, it was amazing how easily he could work up anger and annoyance when he was close to Fields. Glancing at Evan who was standing quietly beside Keller, Rodney made a huge deal out of looking at his watch.

"So are we done? I unlike some people in this room actually have work to do," huffed Rodney.

"Yes, we're done," growled Fields through clenched teeth not looking or sounding very pleased.

Rodney could not help but feel and probably looked proud too, when Fields stormed out from the room. It felt so good upping the slimy man, and by the small grins on everyone else's faces they thought so too. Finally there was a small glimmer of hope for their future that just a few hours ago still looked grey and gloomy, and the best part was that Fields had absolutely no idea about it.

Now he just had to come up with what to say to Evan, maybe he could ask Sage for advice, she always seemed to know about stuff like this. Hopefully he would not freak out and be a coward about it, he had to do this, he had to tell Evan how he felt or else he may never get the chance. He had for the last time chickened out, even if it meant losing the friendship he now had. No, Rodney would not let it go that far, and he had to admit that Sage was good when it came to understanding other peoples' emotions and had actually done some matchmaking earlier that had ended well so maybe she was right this time too. At least Rodney hoped she was right, with his luck one could never be too sure.

Finding Sage was never hard as she did not leave the labs very often. When Rodney came back from the meeting, he found her by her computer flirting with one of the nurses which was on her break. It was about three years ago when one of the computer nerds had made this Atlantis chat room, it was like any other chat room except it was only used on Atlantis and by its members. No fees, no nothing except for a username and a password and voila, now you could easily talk with anyone on Atlantis privately.

"Sage… God I can't believe what I'm going to say… I need your help."

"Wow Boss, can you just like repeat yourself, I don't think I heard you."

"I said Sage, I need your help, please?" pleaded Rodney sitting down beside her.

They were the only two in the lab at that moment, except for a very nervous scientist whose name Rodney could not remember and would not even dare listen in on his and Sage's conversation. Not that it would have been possible either as the mousy scientist almost ran out from the lab with his computer under his arm when Rodney stepped in.

"Of course you need my help, you want to sweep the sexy Major Lorne off his feet and ravish him until he's screaming your name," said Sage giving Rodney a lecherous grin.**  
**  
"Sage… can you just for one moment not be such a pervert?"

"Nah, where's the fun in that? Either way, you know I'm right."

"So? It won't matter if he doesn't like me, and I've got no idea what to say to him!"

"Oh come on Boss, just tell him plainly that you love him and don't stall or else he'll think you don't like him and then he'll be freaking out over nothing," lectured Sage  
Rodney, "and then you just go with the flow, kiss him, grope him whatever, Boss seriously it's not as if you haven't done this before."

"I know! But this is different, Evan's not Brown or Keller he's special and I really don't want to screw this up, okay?"

"I get it, but don't worry; it'll go fine believe me when I say he likes you more than as a friend."**  
**  
"Let's hope so…"

"I know so."

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

"Oh god, oh god, oh god… OH GOD!"

Rodney was completely freaking out, why did he think this was a good idea? Not that he could chicken out now, he was four steps from Evan's quarters there was no sign of Sheppard and the lockdowns last face would begin locking all doors and transporters in a matter of minutes, so there was no chance he would get back to his quarters before that.

He was dressed casually in a t-shirt and a pair of faded jeans which were his favorites. Sage had made such a big deal out of what he was wearing that he had in the end let her pick his clothes. Not that he thought he looked much more different from how he usually looked but according to Sage this was much better. Yes he knew that over the years running from the enemies he had gotten in a bit better shape, not that he had abs or anything like Sheppard and Ronon but he was absolutely much more fit now that when he got to Atlantis for the first time, and his stamina had improved. The t-shirt he was wearing made his arms look good and even though it was tighter it was not too tight, showing that he was maybe not toned but still fit, it was a good choice on Sage's part but he still did not get why he could not have taken his usual clothes, it was not as if Evan had not seen him in them.

Mustering all the courage he had and a bit more, Rodney knocked on the door. He could hear a muffled 'just a minute' and just as his courage was on its way to fail him, the door opened and Rodney stood face to face with Evan. It always took him by surprise how good looking Evan really was, that dark hair he just wanted to run his hands through and those eyes, so calm and beautiful that seemed to hide so much. Rodney knew he had it bad for the shorter man but he could not muster up the strength to care.

"Rodney?"

"Hi… c-can I come in?"

"Oh sure…" Evan sounded confused, then again Rodney could not blame the guy, after all he had not said anything about coming for a visit.

"Thanks…"

Rodney had been inside of Evan's quarters a numerous of times since they had put up those cameras but it felt as if he for the first time actually looked. Not that the room in itself looked any different from his own, four walls, big windows and a bed and a drawer and a door leading to a bathroom. Rodney's eyes fell on the easel and the half finished painting which seemed to portrait an animal, he was not sure what kind of animal it was but he had seen them on some planet here in the Pegasus Galaxy, moving his gaze over the room it fell on the messily made bed and then on an sheepish Evan, who was wearing a sweater and a pair of sweats as he usually did after he had taken a shower.

"Sorry… it's a bit messy…"

"That's okay, I don't care," said Rodney and he really did not. It was not that messy, "I just needed to talk to you."

"Talk?" Rodney was not sure if he was imagining it but he thought Evan sounded worried and maybe a bit scared.

"Yeah…, I just can't ignore this anymore. God knows this isn't easy and I hope you won't hate me. Jesus this isn't supposed to be this hard, and now I'm rambling…" Rodney stumbled over the words.

Taking a step forward Rodney took a deep breath trying to get the dizziness to go away, he was standing in front of Evan. Looking into those mesmerizing eyes, Rodney was a bit taken aback by the look in Evan's eyes, there was worry mixed with uncertainty in them.

"I really suck at this…," muttered Rodney when he noticed the anxiety shining in Evan's eyes, "I love you, okay? I love you Evan Lorne! Now I've said it, I hope you don't hate me for it!"

Rodney had expected Evan to say something or at least do something, but the man was frozen to the spot, staring wide eyed at him. He could feel his mouth moving, sound coming out but it was as if there was something covering his ears because he could not hear what it was he was rambling on about. He was completely incapable of stopping, he was so nervous and now this. In his haze he could see Evan's lips move but he could not concentrate on what Evan was saying.

He was cut off in the middle of his rambles when a pair of hands touched his face and he was pulled into a kiss. It was nothing but their lips softly touching and still it sent currents of electricity down his spine, filling his whole body with warmth.

"Rodney…" said Evan in that soft voice of his, "I like you too, I like you very much."

"Y-you do?"

"Yes Rodney I do and I've done it for a very long time now."

"Really?"

"Yeah although I didn't think you liked me…"

"Why wouldn't I like you? You're good looking, nice, fun to be around and you can actually uphold a conversation!" Evan smiled at Rodney's confession and Rodney swore he could see a small blush on the other man's cheeks.

"That's high praise coming from you."

"Yes it is, and you'd better take it!"

Evan sat down on his bed, Rodney following suit but instead of sitting down on the bed took the one empty chair in the room. It was quiet, and because of the absence of electricity, dark too. It was good Rodney had taken a few candles and a flashlight with him in a small backpack. It gave his hands something to do for a very short but needed time; also it was much easier to have a conversation when he actually could see his partner, when it had gotten dark outside.

Right at that moment Rodney was filled with the urge to call Sage, she had been very specific in how to break it to Evan, and he had screwed that up but she had said nothing about what to do next. Having hot and very loud sex even though very welcome, was not what Rodney had had in mind and he was not one of those that jumped in bed with a person right away even if they had known each other for a long time.

"So… um… I'm not really sure what to do next...," Evan confessed with a small shrug, "I mean you don't seem like a person who just jumps in bed with someone."

"No I don't, and I really want to do this right," said Rodney.

"Oh, okay."

"You know, take it slow, and make this actually work." Evan smiled sweetly at that.

"Yeah, me too."

Somehow that broke the ice. Their talk was stilted at first but as both got more comfortable and actually got it into their heads that the other one liked them, they got more and more back into their old habits both comfortable sprawled on the bed this time instead of the sofa as usually. They spoke about a little bit of everything, from the last wraith attack to the movie they had watched a few days ago.

It was nice, lying there feeling the warmth from Evan's body beside him. Rodney was not sure when he had felt this happy, or if he even had felt this happy ever before because one thing was sure and that was that he had never felt like this with either Katie or Jennifer. Reaching out his hand, Rodney brushed his thumb over Evan's cheek before he pulled the other man into a kiss. He loved the taste of Evan; it was everything and more that he had ever dreamt of. Evan's lips were soft and just perfect to kiss; if Rodney would have been allowed to decide then he would never stop kissing those enticing lips. Unfortunately it was not only time and duties that came in the way but also the lack of oxygen.

Breaking apart Rodney smiled at Evan who gave a small uncertain smile back, as if there was something he wanted to say but did not know how to.

"Evan? What is it?" asked Rodney softly, "Have you ever slept with a man before or is it something else?"

Rodney felt stupid, he had not even thought about the possibility that Evan had never been with a man before. Just because he had had a few flings over the years with different guys did not mean Evan automatically had done that, then again it was hard to say.

"Oh no… that's not it, I've been with guys before, it's just… I've never been known for being good at long term relationships, quite frankly the longest relationship I've had lasted four months, most not even two…" murmured Evan biting on his under lip.

It was not really what Rodney had expected but when he saw the worried look; he could not help but feel a surge of affection for the other man lying on the bed with him. He did not care even if Evan never would have had a long term relationship; it was not as if he was much better at keeping people around. Not only that but with Evan's job Rodney could understand that not many people understood the long time apart and all the dangerous work.

"Don't you worry about that, it takes two to tango and the same goes for a relationship, we'll go through it together okay?"

"Okay… together," whispered Evan.

* * *

Reviews? Anyone?


	8. Chapter 8

This chapter is a bit shorter than the rest but I that's because of what'll happen in it :)

WARNING: There will be some nasty stuff in this chapter, so if it may trigger a response of some kind in a negative way, then read with caution!

That of course means, that there will FINALLY be some proper whump in this story, ( I almost feel bad about what I make my favorite whumping character go through, but just almost ) ;)

* * *

VII.

EVAN

It had been a week since the faithful night when Rodney had told him he loved him. Evan just had to think about it for the happy and bubbly feeling to swell in his stomach. He had never been this happy before in his life and still there were dark clouds in the horizon, dark clouds that promised something bad. It was hard to enjoy the happiness when there was a small voice in the back of his mind that whispered about how Rodney would never want to stay after he found out about his past, or that he would lose his job for this, and Evan knew that people had started to notice this.

Evan knew he had to pull himself together but it was hard when every time he saw Fields he was reminded of everything that had gone wrong in his life. It had happened a long time ago and he had buried the memories and all the wounds had closed only leaving scars behind and now those painful memories had been ripped open again. Every day was a fight, especially the more aggressive and forceful Fields got, so far he had been lucky and managed to get away but he knew his luck would not keep up in the long run. And either way, even if someone found out about it, Fields would not go down alone, in the end it would be him who would take the hardest hit. Evan knew he would not only lose his place on Atlantis, but also his job and his reputation. No, he would not let that happen, he had gotten through it once; and he would be damned before he let some pompous ass get the better of him.

With his head high and a smile on his face, Evan stepped out from his office. Although he was not very hungry, Evan liked spending time in the mess hall, not only did it provide a small defense against Fields but it was also nice to get a small break from all the paperwork, and Evan had always liked talking with people. Then again, that probably had something to do with the fact that people always seemed drawn to him, and he was a social person who had no problem in talking with people he met, regardless of how well he knew them.

Evan could feel his heart beat quicken, when he stepped into the mess hall and spotted Rodney sitting at a table with Teyla and Colonel Sheppard. Snatching an apple and a cup of coffee, Evan headed over to where they were sitting.

"Hello Major," greeted Teyla him when he got closer.

"Teyla, Colonel, Doc," greeted Evan in return.

"Sit down Lorne, I haven't seen you today yet."

"That would be because I've been doing paperwork, sir."

"Then I dare say you deserve a break."

"Thank you sir, I think so too."

"Of course you do," snickered the Colonel.

It was quite nice sitting like this, just chatting not having to think about work even though it was just for a very short time. Mostly the conversation was dominated by Sheppard and Rodney, when they got going not much was able to make them stop, and really at least in Evan's opinion it was amusing watching the two men argue. Not many people knew but Colonel Sheppard was not stupid, Evan had even been invited into the most well kept secret on Atlantis, Rodney had told him one evening when they were watching some boring movie and the topic had landed on chess, that he had never yet won a game of chess against the Colonel, to say that Evan had been surprised was to put it lightly.

Of course, he knew Colonel Sheppard was good at math, even better than some of the scientists but he had never thought too much of it until now. On the other hand, Sheppard was really good at playing the stupid soldier who loved to fly to the point where it got a bit crazy.

"They're like small children, are they not?" said Teyla in a low voice, smiling at Evan.

"Yeah, but it's kind of amusing."

"Yes it is. You know, Rodney have seemed much happier this past week, and so have you but… I must apologize for seeming so forward but something still seems to bother you."

Of course, Teyla would pick up on their relationship, she was much too smart and observant not to. It really made Evan wonder if someone else had noticed it too.

"Oh no, no everything is fine," assured Evan the Athosian woman, "I just have a lot of paperwork and I really just want Fields gone, he makes my work much more difficult."

"Of course, major, although I do hope that you know that if you have something that bothers you then you can always talk to me." Evan just had to smile at that.

"Thank you Teyla, I do appreciate your concern."

And he really did. Teyla was not by far the first person who had voiced their concern, which was why needed to get his act together. Evan did not say anything else on the subject and Teyla did not comment, instead they talked about Torren and the Athosians and about Sergeant Wilkins' bad fortune on F79-884. Which probably was not very nice of them, but it was just not possible not to laugh at the story. Poor guy would probably never in his life go back to that planet.

Evan stayed maybe a bit longer than he should have, but it was nice and relaxing and Evan was not someone to turn down an extra cup of coffee, especially when it was Rodney who offered to get him one. This of course, resulted in him staying an extra half hour, he knew he could have taken the cup with him but it was just an excuse to get to spend some more time with Rodney. In the end the professional side of him won and Evan found himself saying goodbye to his fellow tablemates.

For once his good mood seemed to last, humming to himself softly Evan headed back for his office. Not that he got that far. Rounding a corner, Evan did not have the time to react before he felt something hard and heavy connect with the back of his head. His vision went blurry and it felt as if his brain was swimming in his brain. Evan was sure that he blacked out for a moment because when he opened his eyes, he was no longer in the corridor but inside one of the 'small' cupboards that you could find all around Atlantis. They were small rooms, where papers, empty boxes, well a lot of different stuff was being kept meaning people did not check on them very often and that they 99% of the year were the perfect place for someone who wanted privacy or just to do something forbidden.

Trying to get his surroundings to stop spinning, Evan felt a shiver go down his spine; it was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice cold water over him. He could feel the panic rise in his chest, but he forced it down, it would do him absolutely nothing good to panic now. Trying to get up from where he was sitting on the floor, Evan felt once again the same object as earlier connect with his head. Touching his head where he had been hit, Evan noted somewhat relieved that he was not bleeding. His luck was short lived, if one even could call the not bleeding, luck.

"No… No!"

"Oh yes, come on be a good boy for me, and if you even try to bite me…."

Fields was fumbling with his zipper for a short moment whilst Evan watched with growing horror the man. He tried to get away, but it only ended with another hit to his head. Being stuck between a standing Fields and a wall, was not a very nice feeling and when Fields pushed his cock into his mouth, Evan just wanted to die. Fields had one hand gripping Evan's hair and the other one on the side of Evan's head, whilst he used his body to keep Evan where he was standing on his knees slightly leaning into the wall trying to get as far away from Fields as possible.

It was disgusting, because of Field's grip on him, Evan could do nothing but trying not to gag when Fields hard and rough fucked his mouth. Once in a while when Fields trusted extra hard into Evan's mouth, Evan would wince when his head hit the wall, and the cock pushed all the way hitting the back of his throat making it hard for him to breath. He had absolutely no idea how long this had been going on when he heard a small swooshing sound as if someone had opened the door. Squeezing his eyes shut, he could not keep out the words spilling from Fields' lips those harsh words telling him he was a whore, how no one would believe him, how dirty and disgusting he was but he could stop himself from having to see it, Evan prayed that he was wrong, he did not want anyone to see him like this either, humiliated and weak, almost crying.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!" Oh god, Evan knew that voice, he knew it very well.

Suddenly the trusts stopped and then he felt Fields' body being pulled away from him. The feeling of relief flowed through his body and he slumped down against the wall, his whole body shaking. He heard the voices, the raised voices of two angry males but he could not make out what they were saying, it was as if he was surrounded by a heavy fog, clouding everything.

He did not even register when he was pulled to his feet, an arm protectively placed around his waist, soft words murmured into his ear. It was a wonder that he had not started to hyperventilate. Evan let himself be dragged from the dark cupboard/storage room, his head sore and his heart beating 100 km/h in his chest trying to break free from his body.

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Reviews? :)


	9. Chapter 9

VIII.

RODNEY

Rodney did not know what to think, or it was more like he was so angry that forming even one sane thought that did not involve slaughtering Norman Fields in the most painful way possible, was completely ridiculous. Never in his life had he wanted to hurt someone as badly as he did right now with Fields, the man had really overstepped all boundaries there was about proper human behavior. Tightening his grip he had around Evan's waist, Rodney walked as fast as he could to his own quarters.

"Sheppard?"  
_  
"What is it Rodney? You sound angry…"  
_  
"Oh I am, believe me John, I'm furious, just come to my quarters." After a brief silence Rodney continued, "and you've better take Mitchell with you."  
_  
"Okay… we'll be there in five minutes tops."  
_  
"Good."

Rodney was not used to being the one comforting or trying to keep someone calm, usually he was the one people tried to keep calm or safe, and so he was slowly freaking out but trying to stay together. He remembered vividly how when Teyla had been pregnant and how she had when trying to give birth stayed calm and in the process keeping him from freaking out even though he had done nothing. Yes, this was absolutely nothing he was used to but for Evan he had to try.

It was not far from the mess hall to Rodney's quarters and the trip was even shorter if one took the transporter but still the short distance had never felt longer. He did not dare look at Evan before they were both inside his quarters, the door closed and secured. When he did take a look, it felt as if his heart was torn from his chest, Evan was deathly pale, his breathing was shallow and his whole body was still shaking visibly. Rodney had never seen his newfound lover so out of it before, and it worried him. Not only that but there was a big bruise forming on Evan's right temple, it even looked a bit swollen.

When he tried to reach out and touch his lover, Rodney tried not to take it to heart when Evan first flinched away from him. Instead he was filled with a burning anger, but he had no time to wallow in it, as there was a rapid knock on his door.

"Oh thank god you're here!"

"Rodney, what's going on? You look like you're having a hemorrhage," noted John sharing a worried look with Mitchell.

"I know, I know, but that's not why I asked you here…," said Rodney taking a step back so that the two men could get a better look.

"Jesus! Why's Major Lorne hiding behind your bed?" whispered Mitchell.

"That's why I asked you here!" hissed Rodney.

From there on it only took Rodney twenty minutes to tell Sheppard and Mitchell everything he knew and what he had seen and for then the three of them to somewhat calm down Evan, who still looked a bit pale. At least looking a bit pale was much better in Rodney's book than the shaking and the starry look in those beautiful blue eyes.

Finally when Evan seemed to have pulled himself together and did not look like he would topple over at any moment, and was sitting on the bed rather than beside it in the corner between the wall and the bed, Rodney sat down beside Evan on the bed. John took Rodney's computer chair and Commander Mitchell stood, leaning casually against the desk, but Rodney could see that the man was angry; it burned like a fire in his eyes.

"Do you want something to drink? Water?" asked Rodney softly of Evan.

"No thank you Rodney, I'd rather swallow a bucket of bleach but I dare say not even that'll make the taste go away," said Evan and before he continued loud enough for them to barely hear what he was saying, "not even alcohol can make the taste go away..."

"What I don't get is the way he talks to you Lorne, he's been doing it since… I don't know, since the cameras came," said John, and Rodney had to agree with his teammate,  
"Does he know something we don't?"

"He shouldn't… but he does… I don't know how he did it; no one's supposed to know…." Every alarm bell in Rodney's head went off at that one comment Evan made.

"No one's supposed to know what?" This time it was Mitchell speaking, his voice low and soft, comforting.

"My past," Rodney felt confused and by the fact that Evan continued to speak he had noticed the confusion. "I had a bit of a hard childhood and it did not end prettily, when I joined the army, all my files were locked and buried, no one should have access to them."

"If I may ask… what does he know of your past?" Rodney wanted to smack Mitchell but knew that would not go down well with John.

"It's a long story…," said Evan with a melancholy sigh

Rodney was not sure why he did it but he just could not sit there beside Evan anymore without touching him. Reaching out Rodney placed his hand on Evan's leg; he could feel Evan tense for a second before he relaxed. For a moment Rodney was sure Evan would not say anything that he would just clam up and smile but that did not happen, instead Evan took a few long and deep breaths before he started to talk, his voice monotone and humorless.

"My mother was only nineteen when she found out she was pregnant with me, to put it mildly she wasn't overly happy about it. My dad, whoever he is, was like all the other males in her life only around for a short while, the only thing different with him was that he was about as self-centered and narcissistic as she was and still is and so she did not get an abortion."

Rodney listened intently to every word that came out of Evan's mouth. Sitting beside Evan, Rodney wished he could do something to make the hurt go away, instead Rodney gently moved his hand in a small circle over Evan's thigh. He did not care what John or Mitchell thought about it, right now Rodney's whole attention was directed solely on Evan.

"Either way, although my mother decided to keep me, she didn't really care about me, too occupied with herself. Ever since I can remember she's had lovers, some staying longer some not even a whole day, what Elaine Lorne wants she gets," chuckled Evan darkly. "After a while trying to remember their names just wasn't possible anymore, and so I started to call them Skippy the only difference was the number that followed and the level of creepiness, some were worse than others."

"She can't have had that many men, could she?" asked John.

"Oh yes, believe me Colonel she could. When I was 11 years old, I was introduced to Skippy nr.76. I can't remember his name but he was a sleazebag, a total creep. He used to look at me and touch me when my mother wasn't around… it all ended with my mother coming home earlier one day and seeing him trying to kiss me she throws him out, not because he was a pedophile but because he had shown more interest in me than in her."

Rodney was in shock, his parents had not exactly been overly supportive of him all the time but at least they cared about him and loved him. What kind of mother let their child go through something like that and then blame it on the kid? He was appalled.

"Oh it wasn't too bad," assured Evan.

Rodney was not sure what to say; he just wanted to shout that, no, it was not okay for a mother to behave like that or for a grown man to sexually harass an 11 year old in any way.

"I learned to take care of myself, to cook and clean, my mother did not care what I did, where I was or if I even was alive, when I was thirteen I got into a fight with a guy from my school, usually people left me alone, not many liked my mother and so they didn't like me either. I had one friend, Henley and that was only because she wasn't exactly the most popular person around, but we were lucky mostly people let us be but not him. Roger Thompson, asshole extraordinary and the quarterback on the football team, my mother had slept with his dad a short while before and it ended in a divorce for Roger's parents, and Roger took out his anger on me."

A heavy silence filled the room when Evan stopped talking, Rodney was sure they were starting to get closer to the hardest part of the story, if the way Evan's body had started to shake again, at least his legs were trembling.

"My disagreement with Thompson continues and then when I turn fourteen, my mother has once again found herself a new man ready to serve her every need, Skippy nr. 108. He was not one to wait, and so three days after I had seen him sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee as if it was his own house, he started coming up with reasons to be everywhere I was, touching me and staring all the time. He even got into my room at night, I woke up with him standing over me staring after that I always slept with the door closed."

Rodney wanted to puke, to have one pedophile after you were disgusting enough but to have to go through more than once…. Looking at John and Mitchell, he almost flinched; both men looked ready to kill and once again Rodney was happy he was not the one on the receiving end of their angry glares.

"Skippy 108 stayed longer than most, maybe it was because he spent like a thousand dollars a week on mother or because he did everything she said I don't know why. But it doesn't matter, the longer he stayed the more obvious he got, he even started to touch me in public or trying to at least, I tried to stay as far away from him as possible," said Evan his voice was a bit shaky before he continued, "but the damage was already done…. Thompson and his cronies had seen Skippy 108 being his usual creepy self. At that time we were 15 years old and in high school, Thompson and his cronies the most popular guys in school because of the football and I was the guy whose mother had slept with 87% of the students dads', meaning everyone else but Thompson left me alone, not really caring what I did."

"That's kind of cruel," muttered Mitchell.

"That's life. Either way, as I've said my mother did not care what I did, and so I did exactly what any other fifteen year old teenager would have done, I partied, I drank and I smoked, I even tried some drugs but never thankfully got addicted, and that's when it happened…."

"What happened?" asked Rodney softly, not even daring to think about all the possibilities.

"I had had a major confrontation with Thompson two days earlier ending in him being humiliated not that it was my fault but he did not care, I was at a party with Henley, I was tipsy not having had much time to get drunk and Henley was completely smashed and so I took her home, it was February and it was freezing outside," Rodney felt sick, he hoped Evan was not implying what Rodney thought he was, "I wasn't exactly the biggest person when I was fifteen, I'm still not very tall… Henley and I lived about five kilometers from each other and usually when I was going home from her place I took a small detour, meaning I would not have to walk through the more crowded parts of town, Thompson apparently knew this. Three kilometers from home, between two old factories that were closed, they jumped me; seven against one isn't exactly fair."

Both John and Mitchell were listening closely too now, Rodney's heart was beating so heard he was sure the others could hear it. In his head he was chanting, 'please no' over and over again.

"At first they just hit me and kicked me when I was down, but then Thompson… he… he had seen Skippy 108, he called me a fag and many other words I won't repeat and then he…," Evan's voice broke at the end, "… I don't think his friends had expected him to do it, but he did and then the others couldn't be worse could they?"

"D-did all of them…?" asked Rodney softly, trying not to puke when he felt the bile rise in his throat.

"No…. Two of them refused, but that did not stop them from holding me down. It hurt so much… I'd rather walk through a fire than have to go through that again, and they just laughed as if they had not just raped and beaten someone almost to death. When they left I still laid there on the cold ground, head spinning and my whole body hurting… It took me four hours to get home afterwards. I don't remember much of the way home, only that I puked at least six times and the horrible taste of their cum in my mouth…."

Evan looked like a kicked puppy, and Rodney just wanted to hug him but refrained from doing so in front of John and Mitchell as both of them were Evan's superior officers.

"I was a mess afterwards, I didn't tell anyone about what happened, Henley asked but I didn't tell and no one else cared enough to ask, after this it was just one big downhill for me, I started to drink more, and sleeping around with anyone who wanted, trying to tell myself that it wasn't rape if I wanted it, right? When I hit the eleventh grade, I was in such a bad shape that I don't think there wasn't a day I wasn't drunk or hangover in school, and people had started to offer me money for the sex, I was the towns new whore…, we had a new teacher Miss McMillan, she was nice enough always trying to ask me how I was but she was knew in town and everyone just waited for her to find out about my mother and then change her opinion of me."

"Did she?" asked Rodney cutting off Evan.

"What?"

"Did she change her opinion of you?" Evan actually cracked a smile at the question.

"No, I was in a bad shape, I drank too much, I ate too little and I was depressed to put is simple I was so close to ending my own life that it's almost scary, in the end it was Miss McMillan who saved me. I was seventeen, and my mother was on Skippy nr. 124, he was abusive, well not towards her but me, he didn't like me and I didn't like him and mother only liked him because he was totally ripped and looked like sex on legs. He tried to grab me and I panicked, talk about epic flashback to the night Thompson attacked me, I got away and ended up drinking myself to oblivion, popped a few pills and had sex with some total stranger, then I freaked out afterwards and ran. Miss McMillan found me walking down the highway; she'd been visiting her boyfriend. I was a mess, half naked, crying and panicking looking like one big bruise… she called 911, it all ended with me in a mental hospital/rehabilitation center."

"You tried to kill yourself?" Rodney snapped out daze when Mitchell spoke.

"Oh yes, pills and about three days after I got to the mental hospital I tried to hang myself but was interrupted, which later I was very grateful for. I really was in a horrible shape."

"How did you get into the army, I mean how did you pass the psychological evaluation?" wondered John.

"I spent a year at the hospital it did me a lot of good, I spoke four times a week with a psychiatrist for the whole time I was there. I was eighteen when I got out, Miss McMillan had a friend in the army, his name was Jack O'Neill who offered me a chance in the air force, I've always loved to fly and so I accepted, so for a whole year I went to different psychiatrists, I ate healthily, I didn't drink alcohol and I worked out, I was slowly getting my life back on track. When I turned nineteen I joined the air force, I got a chance to study at a college, I still spoke to my shrink Helen, and I tried to live normally. When I was 22 I stopped going to Helen because it wasn't necessary anymore, all my records were sealed and buried, as a gift Jack got me into the SGC program."

"O'Neill, Jack O'Neill, as in General O'Neill? You knew him before you joined the army?"

"Yes and no, I got to know him better when I was still in the academy, he really helped me a lot, although I fear he was not overly enthusiastic about my one –night stands," confessed Evan.

"One-night stands?"

"I'm not very good at upholding a relationship, mostly because of my mother and the rest is my job, I'm a workaholic, and I love my job."

"Stop! Focus please; I know it's hard for you flyboys but try. Fields, this is what he's holding over you?" Evan only nodded.

"Slimy motherfucker," muttered John.

"I agree with you to a hundred per cent Sheppard," sniffed Rodney angrily, "Evan you need to tell someone, you can't let the man get away with this!"

"Tell who what? Fields is a member of the IOA, and although maybe not the most liked, people will still side with him, especially if they found out about my past and my relationship with O'Neill, they'll say I got my rank because of favoritism or worse that I slept my way up!"

"No they won't, everyone knows your super professional and good at your job."

"Thank you for that Colonel Sheppard but they won't let me stay, it won't look as good when people find out about my numerous flings, I've slept with like at least a hundred different people both male and female, I was an alcoholic or at least in the middle stage to become one, and I've got some serious baggage with me all the time, scars heal and fade but they don't disappear."

"No one will care Major, at least not here on Atlantis," said Cam jumping into the conversation.

"Oh yes they will! I'll never be able to look anyone in the eyes anymore! I'm damaged goods with serious commitment issues, what's so good about that?"

"No they won't, what people on Atlantis sees is a professional, smart and very likable guy who has saved their lives numerous of times," said Sheppard his voice firm.

"Please… just don't tell anyone, I couldn't take it…" begged Evan.

"We won't Major, but we still need to do something about Fields, he attacked you, hurt you and has illegally obtained information on you, that's not up for negotiation," stated Mitchell firmly.

"Yes sir…."

"You've got two days to think over how you want this to happen, either way we need to do something, Fields is a liability not only to you but everyone else on Atlantis too." Rodney agreed silently with Mitchell.

He wanted to strangle the man, feed him to the wraith, let Ronon kill the bastard, Rodney had hundreds of different nasty and painful ideas how to get rid of Fields.

"Yes sir."

"Good, then I think Colonel Sheppard and I will take our leave, McKay look after Major Lorne, if you need anything you can just call and we'll get it for you," said Mitchell ushering John towards the door, "try to rest Lorne, you need it."

With that the door opened and closed and then there was only Rodney and Evan left in the room. Looking at his watch Rodney had to take another look, three hours had passed and it had only felt like maybe half an hour tops. Evan did not look too happy, but then again ripping up old wounds never were a pleasant thing and Rodney was sure that Evan was also a bit bummed over having to make a decision in two days, about how to proceed. Not that Rodney was naïve enough to think that either Mitchell or John would let the matter rest before Fields was out from Atlantis and preferably rotting in a damp cell in Area 51.

They would probably have to be quick as Fields had now been on Atlantis for about six weeks and was almost done with all the personal interviews, the extra interviews with the people from the Pegasus Galaxy helping out and living on Atlantis plus all his extra checking on old reports, supplies and what not. Rodney let out a frustrated sigh, but did not say anything. Evan was just sitting there on the bed, staring straight ahead his body tense. It took a moment before Rodney noticed this, as he was too busy trying to stay calm and process everything he had heard and learned about Evan, his heart was bleeding for the other man.

"I think you should stay here for the night," said Rodney finally when he found his voice once again, "God knows what that bastard is planning."

"You sure about that?" asked Evan in a low voice.

"Yes! I'm not leaving you alone tonight, so forget it!"

Turning around from where he stood beside the bed, Rodney finally succumbed to the nagging voice in the back of his head telling him to hug Evan. Sitting down on the bed; Rodney pulled Evan into his lap, his arms around Evan's waist. At first Evan tensed trying to get away but then he relaxed and hugged back, sitting with his legs folded on either side of Rodney. They sat like this for a long time, neither one of them saying anything, they did not have to. Rodney hugged Evan harder, trying to convey all his feelings towards Evan through the hug.

Rodney was not sure how he did it, but somehow he managed to flip them both so that they were lying down on the bed, Evan was still holding on to him making it hard for Rodney to move. Not that he wanted to anyway, he liked lying there beside Evan, feeling the more athletic body press up against him. It did not take long before Rodney felt Evan's body relax and his breathing becoming more regular. His oh so sexy major had fallen asleep.

He was not sure if he would be able to fall asleep as easily, his mind was still reeling from everything he had heard. To think that Evan had gone through all that and survived it, being able to have a normal life was amazing, it really gave a new meaning to the words being a fighter. Closing his eyes Rodney inhaled the scent of paint and coffee, and slowly fell asleep listening to the ocean outside.

JOHN

"You know John, you think it's odd that people are scared of you when you're angry but I've got to admit I understand why," said Cam in an offhanded manner when they were both securely inside of Cam's office.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, you look like the devil, I sure as hell wouldn't want to run into you in a dark alley when you look like that."

"Do you have a point with this?"

"Yeah I do, calm down, I want to kill Fields just as much as you but for now we need to let Lorne make a decision or else Fields will get away with it."

"I know, I just… what he did was unforgivable, I just want to give him to the wraith," muttered John angrily.

"Me too, but I gave Lorne two days and we'll give him then… I won't let Fields get away with this, I promise."

"Good."

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

John was still riding on an angry wave of hate towards Fields the next day when he woke up. His anger was fuelled by the knowledge of why Fields was doing it and it disgusted him. If there was one thing John was not, then that was naïve, he knew how cruel the world could be and the people in it, but to hear it first hand and know the person in question was a totally different story. He had been shocked, horrified and on the same time sad when he had listened to Evan's life story and had to admit that he really did not know anything about the man before this, and it saddened him because obviously not many did.

Getting up from the bed John was coming up with different nasty and painful ways to humiliate Fields and hopefully hurt him too. No one touched one of John's men, and certainly not the one who took care of almost all the paperwork and made sure everything was up and running in the proper way. Most people said he was the one who kept the Atlantis expedition running but that was not true, yes he was the one who lead them to victory against the wraith but that was just a minor part of it all, it was Lorne who did the real job, who remembered when the Daedalus would arrive with new supplies and manpower and who talked with people and encouraged them and who made sure John did not slack off in his duties. So to put it simply, it was not John who kept the peace on Atlantis but Lorne.

It did not take long for John to get ready for the day and so he headed for the mess hall to get some food, because of yesterdays happenings he had not had the time to eat anything after his lunch and so was just a tiny bit hungrier than usual. There was already a whole bunch of early birds sitting down in the mess hall, eating and slurping on their coffees. Sitting down beside a few marines, John chatted with them, listening to what they had to say, like most people used to go off world every now and then they were bored, but there was not much John could do as long as Fields was on Atlantis. Drinking the last of his coffee, John stood up ready to start his day by filling out some paperwork that had to be done.

When he got to his office John was not surprised to find it empty and all the lights still off, he would probably have been more worried if the major had been there. All the lights and even the air conditioner started when he stepped inside, with a sigh John trudged over to his desk that had four stacks of paper neatly placed on it. Glancing to his side where he could see the Major's desk, John had to wonder how Lorne kept it so neat even though he had the most paperwork to do.

"Well John, I suppose there's nothing else to do than get started…,"said John to himself with a sigh.

Writing, writing and writing some more, John wished he had a stamp so that he would not have to sign his name over and over again and instead would save time by just pressing the stamp to the paper and voila. Then again, he was quite certain that would not be happening in a million years or so, but he could always hope. Sitting there in his chair dreaming about not having to sign papers, John was completely obvious to the door opening and closing revealing a somewhat tired looking Evan.

"Colonel Sheppard?"

"Huh?"

"Oh good, I thought you'd fallen asleep," said Evan opening the slide glass wall that separated their offices.

"I wasn't sleeping… just taking a small break," defended John himself.

"Of course sir, you were just taking a small break for fifteen minutes," commented Evan.

John glared at his XO but decided not to take it further as Evan was good at being passive aggressive and it was not very nice being the target. That was it. John's train of thought took a dive and changed tracks in a split second, and he could not help but smirk. Oh yes, passive aggressive was the word.

"Sir? If I may speak freely, you look like the devil in disguise when you smirk like that."

"Take a seat Major Lorne." Evan sat down still looking a bit worried. "I know you probably don't want to talk about what happened yesterday but as your commanding officer, as your _friend _I can't look through my fingers on this."

"Colonel… I appreciate what you're doing but in the end it won't matter, Fields is a sneaky bastard and technically it's his word against mine whether it was consensual or not, and if he tells anyone of my and let me quote Fields 'whoring days' no one will believe, I'll lose my job and my credibility."

"Yes they will! Evan you seriously have no idea how well liked and respected you're here and on earth, do you? We can't force you to tell anyone or to report him but please don't let him get away with this! The man is a creep and now also a rapist, what he did was wrong and he'll pay for it, one way or another."

"Sir," started Evan but cut himself off and instead looked down at his hands.

"Before you say anything or decide anything, hear me out, okay?"

"Yes sir."

"That's better. Now…" John leaned a bit forward resting his elbows on his desk.

In the end it did not take much convincing on John's part to get Evan to agree but if he was to be honest with himself he had not expected the major to say no either. Fields would finally get to experience first-hand why it was a bad idea to piss off both him and Evan. Hopefully the hardest part would be to get Cam's blessing, as John was not stupid enough to not talk to Cam about it before they began.

Three hours had passed and Evan had gone back to sit behind his own desk filling out forms. John was once again taking a break and was just back from fetching some coffee, as they had yet to get that promised coffee machine. Placing a big mug on Evan's desk, John stood there unmoving, not sure if he should ask his question that had been nagging in the back of his head since Evan agreed to the plan. In the end his curiosity won.

"Why did you agree so fast to the plan?"

"John, if I'd make a formal complaint against Fields, there would be dozen of people involved in the investigation, then everyone would find out something's going on and soon after everyone would know why, it's my private business and I don't want everyone to know, that doesn't mean I don't want revenge or to see Fields suffer."

"You've got a point there…"

"Of course I do, I'm the one who made it."

"Now that's better, you're starting to sound like yourself!"

"Thank you sir, now get back to work. You've still got a lot of work to do," said Evan and pointed at John's paper covered desk.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes sir, you do." With a sigh John trudged back to his own desk.

Life was not easy when one had an all-knowing XO. With one last hopeful look at the door, John really wished there would be a wraith attack or something, at least then he would not have to sit still, doing nothing all day long. Grabbing his pen John glared at the offensive paper lying on his desk, this was war and he would be damned if he lost against paper. With a determined huff, John attacked the paperwork and did not hear the snort like laugh coming from his XO who was watching the whole ordeal with an amused smile on his lips.

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	10. Chapter 10

IX.

CAMERON

"You know, if it wasn't for the fact that I'd happily feed the man to the wraith then I'd actually feel sorry for him, it's horrible enough when the two of you decide to band together, mixing McKay into the equation… well I really don't know what to say."

"You could just say go ahead, have fun, make that bastard wish he'd never been borne?" suggested McKay.

Cam had been waiting for Lorne to appear to tell him about his choice when not only Lorne but also John and McKay had entered the room. He had been a bit disappointed when Lorne had said he did not wish to make a formal complained against Fields, but when he heard the reason behind it he could not help but feel proud of his lover, whose idea it obviously was to take down the IOA member a peg or two.

"Well, I can't really see myself trying to stop you, I still think you should report him Major but I can't force you to do anything you don't want to do either," said Cam with a sigh.

"Come on Commander," said Rodney with a huff, "this is Atlantis, we never do anything the normal way and we look after our own. Fields is one sleazy bastard who wants to shut down this whole project, if I can't do anything else then I can at least make sure he knows how I feel!"

"Rodney's right," quipped John jumping back into the conversation, "we can't just let him walk all over us like he's been doing since he came here and although he hasn't touched anyone else, he certainly haven't been nice either, just four days ago I saw him trying to bug Teyla but Ronon scared him away."

"Fine, go ahead with your Operation: Nemesis, just… be careful, if nothing else you've got about three weeks before the Daedalus is here again and about one and a half before we're back in touch with earth again, so use your time wisely."

John and Lorne left the office almost immediately after their small discussion was over as there seemed to be some trouble in one of the training rooms, between some of the marines, leaving Cam alone with McKay. Cam had kind of expected McKay to leave first like usual, spouting about his important work but instead the PhD doctor sat down in one of the chairs in front of Cam's desk.

"How is he really?"

"Well I dare say he's still a bit shaken but Evan's tough and he knows he's not alone this time. God I can't imagine not being able to tell anyone, not trusting anyone enough to tell them about something like that, keeping it hidden for what two three years," said Rodney sounding more tired and beaten than Cam had ever heard before.

"Me neither, then again we've both had good childhoods' compared to either the Major or John."

"Yeah…"

"So you finally got the guts to tell him how you felt?" Cam ignored the glare McKay sent him.

"Have you been speaking to Sage huh? You're really annoying Mitchell."

"Hey! I'm just trying to be nice here, and I'm glad for you or well I'm glad for Lorne, he deserves to be happy."

"Yeah he does."

Cam did not say anything and instead just observed the somewhat frazzled looking scientist sitting in front of him. It was odd, for most of the time Cam could not even stand being in the same room as McKay and now here he was telling the most annoying guy in two galaxies that he was glad he was happy, okay it had mostly to do with Lorne but still… it was just plain wrong, like Jackson and Vala being in the same room and something weird _not_ happening. Shaking his head Cam forced his thoughts back onto the right track, letting his thoughts run away with him would only end with him getting confused.

"Either way I have to go, I've got work to do."

"See you later McKay," said Cam with a small wave as the PhD doctor left.

JOHN

John could not concentrate, sitting in his office chair flipping over some random papers trying to look like he was working, instead he found himself thinking back to his own childhood. It had not been a particularly happy one but compared to Evan's it had not been too bad. John knew that most of his insecurities about himself and his appearance stemmed from his father, who was always the first to point out all of his son's faults and misses and how stupid he was and how he could not do anything right.

He knew that most people in the army and the SGC program thought he had authority problems and really he did, it was just not because of him wanting to be a hero or whatever stupid reason those bastards wrote down in his file, no, it was all thanks to Patrick Sheppard. John shivered when he thought about his father; the man was a control freak and would get mad if something was even the tiniest of fractions different from how he wanted things. When most people saw a determined and stoic man you did not want to mess with who ruled his empire with an iron fist, they only saw a fraction of the man, because what people did not know was that the man had an even harder grasp and control over his family. Patrick Sheppard ruled in the Sheppard household like a dictator, from the age of three John had followed the rule, "What Patrick Sheppard says, you follow". His life had been planned into the smallest of details long before he had been borne, everything from what people he could associate with, education where he was supposed to study and what he would work as.

Not many people really understood it and so John had a long time ago stopped trying to explain it. Then again, how did you explain seven hours lectures of how stupid, ignorant and disappointing he was because he had only scored an A- in his test, which by the way had only happened once. Or how he was never allowed to be a child, play or run because it was not proper, how he was forced to learn how to speak French and German before he started school. His mother who had been his only bumper between him and his father high expectations had died of cancer when he was still young, leaving a huge hole in all the remaining members of his family, meaning him, his father and his younger brother David.

Thinking about his brother, John scoffed. David was as stuck up and arrogant as their father, to put it simply they had never gotten along. David had always looked up to their father, and why would he not? He was not the one being ridiculed and lectured or getting the dirty looks over their stupid dining table that told him he was nothing but a dumb looser who was ungrateful and rude. Even after all these years those remarks stung, because if Patrick Sheppard was good at something then that was talking and making people believe what he said.

It had been hell living in that huge mansion, knowing that the only ones that cared about him was the driver, the cook and the maid. Everyone always thinks money makes things better but that was the most stupid thing ever said, at least that was what John thought. All those fake smiles, and back handed comments from jealous neighbors' or business partners of his father, John had never felt more trapped in his life, his own private jail.

At first, when he was younger he had tried, tried so hard to earn his father's respect, he learned to speak and write fluently in French in one year, he took all the lectures, he learned ballroom dancing and etiquette, how to speak, pronounce and articulate words properly, how to sit and how to eat but it was never enough. Never getting anything below an A+, except for that one time in high school, and slowly John learned that nothing he did or said would change his father's opinion of him. He just stopped trying, all those fourteen hours he spent cramming for tests slowly decreased first to twelve then to ten, six and last two, in the end it did not matter studying fourteen or two hours did not change anything, he still got the same result.

Yeah, John knew a lot of people called him stupid or did not think much of his brain; after all he was just a lowly Lt. Colonel in the Air Force, but that was not really true. He was smart, like really smart he just did not advertise it like Rodney, who talks about his superior intellect every day at least once an hour apart. John had never told anyone how smart he really was before he met Cam and even with Cam it took a long time before he admitted it and it was all Rodney's fault because he could not shut up about that stupid MENSA thingy. His father did not know, but thinking about it John was sure the man would accuse him of lying, because obviously how could John Sheppard, the dim-witted son of Patrick Sheppard have an IQ of 162.

John chuckled but there was no humor in it. Even now, after his father's death he could not get rid of the old man. Every time he looked into a mirror, he could hear his father's voice telling him how his ears were too pointy or how his hair was too messy, that he was slouching and the list went on and on. It was funny; his father really was the master of talking the man could find a fault in everything John did, even breathing, either he was breathing too loud or too uneven.

Wallowing in his old memories John decided that maybe a small trip to the mess hall would do him some good. At least it would get him to stop thinking about his father. Flipping over some papers one more time, John headed straight for the door and the mess hall. He did not really want to talk to anyone and it probably showed on his face as no one tried to engage him in a conversation.

In the end he did not stay long in the mess hall, he stopped long enough to speak with Ronon and Teyla whilst he ate a turkey sandwich but did not stay for any small talk. He saw Evan enter the crowded room, looking like his usual calm and relaxed self, no one could have guessed what had transpired in that storage room/cupboard two days ago just by looking at him. Which was probably a good thing as Evan seemed determined to keep it hidden, not that John could blame the man if it was him he would want the same thing. It was just a bit weird, for the past week or two John had not seen Evan without Fields suddenly appearing or hanging in the background and now the slimy excuse of a man was nowhere to be seen, obviously lying low for a few days, at least John hoped that was why he had not seen Fields. The last thing they needed at the moment was more trouble.

His mood was slowly lifting and John found himself stopping to talk with Sergeant Riviera and Doctor Hume who were talking about extra shooting practice with different guns and not only the standard weapon given to the civilians on the expedition. John had to admit it was a good idea; Doctor Hume was not the only scientist who could do with some extra training, especially the newest scientists that had arrived not too long ago. John did not stay too long, but he could not help but smirk when he watched from the corner of his eyes Riviera and Hume. He would never have known that they were involved if it was not for Doctor Warner and Evan who had been talking about it when John was looking for his SIC. Doctor Logan Hume was an expert in foreign languages and had before coming to Atlantis been working closely with Doctor Jackson; he was about John's age, around 40. Calm and open, was two very accurate words to describe Hume, and with his broad chest and height most people mistook the friendly linguistic for one of the marines.

Sergeant Riviera was 25 years old and seriously gun crazy, then again that was why he had been chosen, the kid was probably the best sniper in the whole SG program. Lean and built like a swimmer Riviera was not the tallest of guys, and a head shorter than Hume, the two men really made up for an interesting couple. Not that it had anything to do with him, he liked both of them and if they were happy he was happy after all it would be hypocritical of him to judge Hume and Riviera about their relationship when he was dating Cam.

Slowly getting out of his bad mood John headed back for his office, still thinking about the different pairings that had appeared on Atlantis. Some of them more surprising that other, of course because of regulations and different rules about dating in the armies and the fact that half of the expedition consisted of civilians, it was not something that one spoke about too openly. It was kind of obvious that people knew, with the small population on Atlantis and the fact that even with freak storms, wraith attacks and oddities happening every other day there was always room and time for gossip, keeping something private on Atlantis was not an easy feat, especially if that something was a relationship. John grinned when he remembered when Stackhouse and Markham had thought they were being sneaky with their not so small affair, and almost everyone knew about it. Poor Markham had not been able to stop blushing for almost a week after Stackhouse had been in the infirmary after a mission and almost all women had approached Markham trying to make him feel better.

"Taking an unnecessary break again, Colonel Sheppard?" And there went John's happy mood.

"Mr. Fields," bit John out, forcing his hand away from his gun, "what is it that you want?"

"I don't see the Major, neglecting ones duty is not a very nice thing to have written in ones file. Then again when has the dirty little secret of men ever been important enough to care about?"

John had to bite his tongue hard so not to say anything he would regret in the long run and instead glared angrily at Fields. His anger was boiling inside of him, screaming clawing at him trying to get out but he knew he could not let go, letting go would end in a blood bath.

"Why don't you get back to work, after all I would _hate_ having to report you too for neglecting your duties," drawled Fields before he spun around and left John alone with his fuming temper. He could not wait to show Fields how much he _appreciated_ the man being there on Atlantis. Fields would wish he had never even heard of the SGC program when this was over.

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	11. Chapter 11

X.

EVAN

Evan had not been sure what would happen after he had spilled his guts out over his messy and broken past, but he had never thought he would get so much support. Usually when someone found out about his earlier life they took to the hills before he had even finished his story or they looked at him with disgust and contempt before they left. In the end he stopped trying to keep someone, he knew his one night stands were not very healthy but after being hurt so many times it was just easier to keep his distance than get hurt again.

All this relationship things were completely new to him and Evan was the first one to admit that he had absolutely no idea what to do or act. He was lucky that Rodney was so understanding, gentle and not intruding, he did not force Evan to be a certain way or deny who he was. Then again, Rodney was a very unique person himself and understood how it felt to having to change himself to be a certain way to be liked.

"You look pensive, something on your mind?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary," said Evan leaning into Rodney who had just sat down beside Evan on the couch.

"Sure and why is it that I just know you're lying to me, huh?"

"Because I am, partially at least," admitted Evan.

Evan watched from the corner of his eye as Rodney let out a small sigh and then there was an arm around his shoulders pulling him in. At first Evan's primary reaction was to pull away but instead he tried to relax his body and leaned heaver against Rodney's solid side. He could not help himself when he started chewing on his lower lip, they had not really had much time to themselves since the small encounter he had had with Fields and Rodney had not tried doing anything more than some kissing and heavier petting, not that they really could do much as long as Fields was still there. It was frustrating but on the same time it made Evan feel relieved, he wanted things to go the right way with Rodney and he was afraid to screw things up if he did things how he usually did them and so he had decided to let Rodney take the wheel and set the pace.

"Everything well be fine, trust me with Sheppard on your side there's not much Fields can do, especially now as Mitchell has given the Colonel almost free reins," said Rodney softly running his hand through Evan's hair.

Pressing himself closer Evan purred at the feeling of Rodney's hands in his hair, softly massaging Evan's scalp. It was relaxing on so many levels but one thing was sure and that was that Evan did not want Rodney to stop.

"I hope so…"

"Haven't you learned by now that I'm never wrong? So stop worrying, it'll be fine, I can feel it in my gut."

Moving around Evan looked up to look Rodney straight in the eyes, giving the PhD doctor a small smile. He was rewarded with a kiss for his trouble. It was a short and sweet kiss, but it still left Evan flustered or maybe that had something to do with the fact that he had not had sex in almost eight months now and it was starting to get to him. It just was not the same thing when he had to take care of things himself, Evan was sure the cramp in his arm came from the crazy amount of time he spent jerking off in his shower.

His silent self-pity party walked straight into a wall and Evan almost jumped in surprise when he felt a hand connect with his cloth covered cock, half hard straining against his pants. Looking down Evan blinked a few times as he watched Rodney's hand before he once again looked up at his lover who was now looking downright mischievous.

"Well, well, well … what do we have here?"

Evan drew in a sharp breath of air when Rodney put more pressure on his hand, it took all of Evan's self-control not to whine or moan at the movement. He went from semi hard to rock hard in two seconds flat. He had slept with a lot of people but there had not been a single person before Rodney that could make him feel so alive from just the most innocent of touches, like a pat on the shoulder or from their fingers touching.

Evan did not take his eyes off Rodney as he watched the other man move from where he was sitting on the couch to kneeling on the floor in between Evan's parted legs. It was as if everything moved in slow motion, Evan knew it was stupid but it felt as if it took an eternity for Rodney to open Evan's pants and get his mouth on Evan's cock but it was worth it in the end. With a groan Evan slumped back against the couch, his eyes closing in pleasure. It was not often that people remembered or cared to give him a blowjob as usually it was he who was down on his knees, but this was far the best blowjob he had ever gotten. Squirming and moaning, Evan saw stars when he came, his eyes shut and his lips parted.

"Wow… that was…"

"I know, I'm a genius after all," said Rodney with a satisfied grin.

"So I've been told," Said Evan licking his lips, "now how can I help you Doctor McKay?"

"Help me? Major Lorne you help me just by being here but if you _really_ want to help me then you can get your sweet ass out of those pants."

One minute and forty-nine seconds later both he and Rodney were naked on the sofa, Evan in Rodney's lap. He was moaning and rubbing himself up against Rodney enjoying every second or Rodney's hands grabbing his ass. Every time Rodney's fingers even got close to Evan's puckered hole, Evan's moans would get an octave higher and he would try to push his hips lower but Rodney was stubborn and kept playing with Evan. Although he had already cummed once, it did not stop him from getting hard again pre-cum leaking from the tip of his cock.

"Rodney just fuck me already!" groaned Evan frustration seeping into his voice.

For a moment Rodney stopped moving and Evan was afraid he had been too forward.

"If we're going to do this, we're not going to fuck but make love and we'll be doing it on a bed." Rodney held Evan's head between his hands looking Evan straight in the eyes when he spoke.

"Okay bed or sofa, whatever just get going!" whined Evan.

How they in the end ended up on the bed, was a mystery to Evan. Not that he cared as he was more concentrated on Rodney's cock than anything else that was going on. Since the first time Evan got a look at Rodney's cock, he had not been able to get it out of his mind. Every day, every minute of the day at the most improper time's images would pop up in his mind distracting him thoroughly. Arching his back, Evan let his fingers gently run through Rodney's hair, savoring the feeling of the older man's tongue leaving a wet trail down his chest and stomach. Writhing and moaning shamelessly, his body responding to every little touch that Rodney bestowed on him Evan wrapped his legs around Rodney's waist.

For the second time in under an hour Evan saw stars when he came, his breath was labored and he could feel how his whole body relaxed. Rodney was equally breathless, gently pulling out before he laid down beside Evan.

"I know this is early but I know I love you Evan, you don't have to say it back but I… I just want you to know that I do and that I won't give up on you."

Evan was not sure what he was supposed to answer to the revelation and so instead of saying anything smiled his usually calm and collected smile and kissed the terror and nightmare of the majority of the scientists on Atlantis. It was nice to hear those words, although Evan did not very often put much weight on words this time it was different, because everyone who knew Rodney, knew that he was not very eloquent or good at expressing himself if it was anything else but displeasure or annoyance and so it meant a lot to Evan to hear those words from Rodney.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS**

Evan knew it probably was petty of him but he took immense pleasure in watching Fields suffer. Everything from the smallest of things like tripping over something that was not there moments ago, to being locked out from a room he needed access to. It was not much but it was something. At least it was enough so that Fields did not have time for harassing Evan so that was also good, he was slowly relaxing enough not to check every corridor before he walked through it in search of evidence if Fields was around or not.

Now once again like most days Evan found himself sitting in his office hoping Fields would leave soon because he was sure that if he was to be cooped up in his office one more day with Colonel Sheppard who was making origami, he was sure he would go nuts. Of course, the question now was how much more crazy he could get, because a certain amount of insanity was already needed in accepting the position as Sheppard's SIC on Atlantis, which he had done without a second thought. He was not used to not having been off world in give or take two months, and it was slowly starting to grate on his nerves, he liked the freedom that came with the gate travelling.

Staring at the paper on his desk, Evan gingerly picked up the one on top (a report sent by Fields on how "lazy" and "unprofessional" some of the marines were), and slowly started to imitate the hand movements and folds Colonel Sheppard had done whilst making origami. Evan knew he had hit a new kind of low when he let the temptation take over but the Colonel was right, it was sort of soothing. He could not help but snicker when he remembered his conversation he had had with his CO, how they should introduce origami as a sort of stress relieve for the marines. Although after thinking about the proposition for awhile, Sheppard had to admit that maybe it was not such a good idea, as the chance was bigger that it would increase the stress for the majority, instead of making it go away.

Evan continued to fold his origami birds, the birds getting better looking and more elaborate than the last. He was so absorbed in his newfound hobby that he did not even hear the raised voice coming from down the hall. An agitated voice that just got louder and louder until it suddenly stopped and did not start again.

NORMAN

Norman was furious. Ever since his failed attempt on Lorne, things had started to happen. It was not really anything specific at first, a cold shower now and then, a door that was jammed or maybe just weird tasting coffee, but then it started to happen too often and then the whispering started and the laughs behind his back and then he knew, it was not a coincidence. It made his blood boil when he thought about it, that these people dared go against him, it was as if they did not care that their lives were in his hands. They did not fear him anymore.

Storming down the corridors, trying his best not to trip over something or get locked in, Norman was trying to locate Doctor McKay a more annoying and self-assured bastard would be hard to find, who according to his work partner Doctor Zelenka was supposed to be in the jumperbay but had not been there for hours when Norman arrived and so he ended up walking across the whole of Atlantis (because he did not trust the transporter not to trap him again) to get to the room where some marine had spotted the man last.

In the end he found McKay with his new little puppet Doctor Walker or something not far from Sheppard and Lorne's office. They were in a deep discussion with lots of papers in between, but Norman did not care, he had wasted enough time already on the pompous jerk.

"McKay!"

"Ah, Mr. Fields how can I help you?" asked McKay in a sugary tone, not happy at all.

"I want you to fix my shower! I'm getting tired of there being no warm water!" almost shouted Norman his face red from his walk.

"Oh that's not possible, I'm afraid," said McKay looking too smug for his own good, "everyone's showers break now and then, you're not the only one who has to suffer through it."

"So it's normal to only have freezing cold water?" asked Norman through gritted teeth.

"Yes, you're welcome to try but right now everyone has to shower with cold water so there's no point in whining over it."

"Doctor McKay's right, there's been some problems with the pipes these past few days and so there's no hot water," said Walker butting into the conversation.

"Doctor Walker did it look like I was looking for your opinion?"

"It's Warner, not Walker."

"I don't care Doctor! Well if it's a problem then fix it! I won't tell you again!"

"Mr. Fields with all due respect, we can't fix it any faster than we already are," explained McKay with a sigh.

"Oh really, well do you know what I think? I think you're just making this up to annoy me," spat Norman.

"Believe whatever you want, but there's something wrong with the pipes and that's the truth."

Norman stared with narrowed eyes, shifting his gaze from one doctor to the other trying to determine whether they were lying or not. It was hard to say, weird things happened on Atlantis which was one of the reasons he did not like the place, and usually it took awhile before the problem was discovered and dealt with.

"Just as you said Doctor McKay, I'll be the judge of that."

Norman stared McKay straight in the eyes and the annoying know-it-all stared straight back and had it not been for Doctor Zelenka who contacted McKay through his earpiece then the staring would have continued for awhile. Not listening to the conversation Norman stalked down the corridor heading for the nearest sleeping quarters. He was going to show them that he was not someone to mess with, if they played him now he would make sure every single person working in this place loyal to Sheppard or anyone else for that matter that Norman did not like, would perish. He would make sure they would never get employed anywhere, top scientists and military be damned he would make them pay.

Storming into the first room that was occupied by someone, Norman did not care who, he headed for the shower. With a determined face Norman switched on the shower and was two seconds later hit in the face with ice cold water much like what had happened in his own shower. For a moment he just stood there, breathing heavily through his nose. He was not sure what made him angrier, the fact that McKay had not been lying about the showers or the fact that he had been completely humiliated. Turning around he was faced with both McKay and Warner, their faces were blank but he knew that they were laughing at him silently. Giving them his most fierce glare, Norman walked past them, his nose high in the air.

Angry, humiliated and soaking wet Norman pushed past the two doctors, stalking down the corridor heading for his private quarters. There was not much more work to do before his report was done and when that happened, he would make sure the whole Atlantis mission got cut off and shut down for good. Sitting down on his computer chair Norman tries to calm down running a hand through his hair. It would not help run headlong into trouble, instead he needed to refocus and come up with a new plan. He needed to take back the control he had lost before it was too late to do anything about it. Leaning back in his chair Norman played up a few different scenarios in his head trying to come up with a good game plan for the last weeks of him being on Atlantis. What he did not know was that he was not the only one to step up the pace. When Norman had come to Atlantis he had expected it to be easy to take charge and get things done, but what he had not anticipated that was the loyalty in the place bred from the extreme situations and death threats that loomed over the old Ancient building.

**STARGATE: ATLANTIS  
**_  
_

"What's the meaning of this?"

"I'm making a formal complaint sir about feeling wrongly treated by you, sir."

Norman stared at the woman, Doctor Warner or whatever, standing in front of him looking as insolent as ever. No wonder she got along with McKay as good as she did. His anger flared and got worse by every second he look at her standing there in front of his desk, as if she just had not given him a report where she accused him of sexual harassment. He did not even bother to read the thing before he chucked it into the paper bin.

"That Doctor is what I think of your complaint. Now get out of my office!" roared Norman.

He watched as Warner with a smirk on her face left his office, leaving the door open behind her. Although he had to admit the way she spoke and looked at him made him a bit weary.

Warner was the first and although he had not thought much about it, it was still there in the back of his head nagging, not even two whole days' later complaints from other women working on Atlantis had started to rain in. In his opinion women were not meant to be in the army, they were supposed to be home cooking and no out playing soldier. It was ridiculous how low the army was sinking, it was sailing towards disgrace. With a snort of disgust, Norman went back to sorting out the file of whom he was going to let go and who would be allowed to stay. Right now there was a whole bunch of people that would be let go.

He was looking forward to ending this thing whatever it was, being away from earth, in a different galaxy where they did not have coffee and only served disgusting food coming from different planets in the galaxy made him nauseous. Also now when his little side project had flopped, Norman did not feel there was any reason to stay any longer, the Daedalus would be here in six days and he would be the first person onboard when the spaceship would head back for earth. With that thought in his head Norman shuffled through his papers placing a file on top of the heap containing those files of who would be laid off. With a satisfied grin Norman swept his eyes over the name, Doctor Rodney McKay. Colonel Sheppard, Major Lorne and Doctor Warner's names could also be found in the pile, yes Norman would have his own revenge and it would be worth all the trouble he had gone through this past two months.

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